Saturday, April 29, 2006

When will it be all over with?

Well I thought that when J dropped the money by my parents house on thursday, them giving him the rings and his camera back, and then me taking his ring back to the store, that this whole ordeal would be over with.

Well I guess I guess again (hmmm..that made no sense). Yeah I was laying in bed tonight trying to get to sleep, with 2 dogs snoring it is difficult, anyway, and remembered that he still has my desktop tower, monitor and keyboard. I just messaged him stating that I would like these things back. I wouldn't worry about it normally, but that was given to me for free, and I can't afford to go out and buy a brand new one. I so badly wanted to put withing the message, "perfably (sp?) in the same working order as it was given." but I didn't. If it doesn't work my brother can fix it for me. He's great on computers, and I believe that he is better than J's brother at this.

I just wish the whole thing was over. Today while out at the festival and at wal-mart, I had several people congradulate me on my engagement. I had to say "Thank you , but I'm not getting married." I'm glad that nobody asked me why, they just stated "Oh, well at least what ever happened, happened before you were married." I'm begining to think that is the "choice" of phrase from everyone, LOL. But a lot of the people who told me this have been through a divorce or many divorces.

I don't think he'll message me back. If he doesn't I'll email him tomorrow. Or just forget about the desktop computer and save my money up (again) and purchase a newer and better one. I'm tired, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, Jade is so sore from her surgery and she is a little bit restless in the bed. Hehe I know put her in a cage, but I feel better having her next to me just in case something was to go wrong in the night, and I would be right there if she needed me. I know...I know...that this is only a dog and not a real baby. But as I've stated before, these 2 animals are the closest I have to children, and so therefore I treat them like "human" babies. I'm sick and I need help, and I know this. LOL.

Oh did I mention that I LOVE MY CAMERA?

And we can't forget the puppies, Katie and Jade!!!

My new camera

Here I am trying to figure out how the heck to put the neck strap on the stupid thing!

(I'm at my brother and sister-in-laws house)

Friday, April 28, 2006

A little to much wine...okay...way to much wine!

As I sit here listening to Jay Leno, my dog "Katie" is passing the most horrible gas I think I have ever smelt in my life, (I know you just wanted to know)! I can not believe that an animal her size can make you want to go and get your own gas mask! She's depressed, she misses her sissy "Jade", but she will back home tomorrow. She's recoporating (sp?) from her recent surgery.

My sister-in-law and I are going to the little festival tomorrow, our town holds this event every year. It's called "The New Beginnings Festival", and it celebrates the beginning of spring, I think. Sheesh, you'd think I would know what this festival is actually for, as I've lived in this boring town my whole entire life! But, no, actually I don't have a clue what it is celebrating! I know I'm lame, and have no interest in the events in this town, LOL.

But it's going to rain here tomorrow, as it has been raining for the last, oh 18 hrs or so...we had a 100 percent chance of rain today and a 90 percent chance of rain for tomorrow, and 70 precent chance of rain on Sunday. Although we need the rain, rain is kind of a depressing time for me. It is just so blah outside when it rains, although I do like the smell after the rain, it smells so clean. That is until our petroleum plant(sp? i can't spell worth the poo!) stinks up the town again!

I wonder if I will find some cool crafts tomorrow. I hope so, I'm in the mood to spend some money. I'm dog sitting for my parents tonight and tomorrow. Well, I don't have to actually sit at the house and watch the dogs, that would be a bit boring. I just have to go feed them and let them out, and show them that just because their mommy and daddy left, doesn't mean they aren't loved. My mom has two weenie dogs also, and they are the weirdest dogs I've ever known in my whole entire life. They infact are weenie dogs, but they have the composure, characteristics and attitude of a Chihuhau (sp? i know i know, get a dictionary!). They are strange. They only really like my mom, and could care less for anyone else, unless of course that other person has FOOD, oh my goodness, beware if you have food in your hand you will indeed be tackled, or google eyed at until you give them a bite.

I however can not say that Katie doesn't act like this also, because well she does. See I went to school for almost 4 months in 2004, and my mother spoiled her more than I do, so now Katie does that same google eye thing with me when I have food. I never really gave her "people bites" maybe cheese or bread every once in a while. Well when my mom had her, she ruined that for me, lol. I however have not taught Jade how to beg, and I'm keeping it that way. She has no understanding that I'm eating "people bites" and goes on with her own business. Good doggie!!!

I'm so exhausted. I've for some odd reason have been reading I don't know why. But there are some sick sick sick evil evil evil people in this world. I just read and state "Oh my Gosh!", "Oh how sick". I've always been a sucker for true crime stories, ever since I was younger and thought I would be a profiler for the FBI. HEHEHE. I used to play FBI with my barbies, and I always found the bad guy before something else happened. I however will never be an FBI profiler :(. But that doesn't stop me from watching A&E cold cases, or CSI, or Vanish without a Trace, or Medium (well she's really not a profiler, but it's a cool show), or Missing on lifetime, I like these shows. I always try to guess who the bad guy is before they show us, and I'm always wrong. See why I won't ever be a Profiler for the FBI? ARRGGHHH!!!

I don't understand why people do what they do, and I will never understand it. I will continue to pray for those who were lost because of the evil doings of others, and the families of those who were lost. I hardly pray for myself, my nightly prayers always goes for people who are in distress, or in need of a miracle. Because they need the prayers more than me.

Hehe well that was like 6 topics in one post, no no no, I haven't had 2 glasses of wine, and no there is no way at this moment that I'm feeling those 2 glasses of wine. LOL. I normally don't drink by myself, but I felt like a glass of wine. Then I got another, and well, um...yea...enough said!!!

I did never find that damn sock I was looking for last night. I don't know I guess it just grew legs and walked off, thought maybe it would go frockling somewhere. See the world or something. Damn sock! Or maybe just maybe Katie hid it somewhere. You have to be careful with her sometimes if you leave anything on the floor we have to go "hide" it, as we think that everything in this house is our personal toy.

I've looked in her favorite hiding spot today, which is behind the love seat. I didn't find the sock but I did find the following:

2 raw hide bones
1 pony tail holder (that i've been looking for, for like 2 weeks)
1 dollar bill (guess she wants to buy something?)
1 destroyed stuffed animal (not her's it was mine, that stinker!)
a chewed up electric bill (i'm assuming it's not the new one, or am i hoping? would the electric company believe "i didn't pay my bill as my dog ate it?", probably not, because if teachers and professors don't fall for it, the electric comapny won't either. But with our electric company, they are some kind of different people, they'd just might, LOL.)
and last but not least, a foil wrapper from a candy bar i think..i'm not sure.

Yea, I have a klepto for a dog. She likes to take things that aren't hers just because she has this urge to take it. I guess I'm gonna have to start looking behind the love seat more often LOL.

Well I guess that is a enough blabber for one post, as I am not making one bit of freaking sense. Or am I? No I believe I am not. And you are probably drooling at your desk at this moment as I bored you to sleep. Sorry! Just felt like posting. Why? I'm not sure, guess I wanted you to enjoy the wine just as much as I did, ehehehe!!!!

Off to bed I go!!! To dream of a dreamy Ryan Reynolds (oh yes, that would be a perfect dream. Forget Alanis, Ryan, come marry me!!!)

oh here's a pic of the camera I'm thinking of buying this weekend. I hope I have the nerve to actually spend the money on it, as I really really do want it!!

For all my friends...

The following poem is for all of you who are my friends online, and especially for that one special friend who has been with me through thick and thin, good and bad, ugly and even uglier. We've been friends for such a long time, I don't know if she knows that our friendship has meant the world to me. How our friendship has brought me happiness in my darkest days, for that I thank her. *Wink* You know who you are!

My Friend
by Sammy Lane Sharp

We all need someone
To talk to in our life,
A friend to whom we run
In times of stress or strife

A friend who's always there
Throughout the years,
A friend we know will care
And take away our fears.

A friend who's always near,
Waiting for our call,
To wipe away our tears,
And lift us when we fall.

A loving friend indeed,
On whom we can depend
To fulfill our every need -
Thank you, precious friend

After Shock...

Well last night as I stated the girls and I (and one guy but hey he is one of the girls too!!) went out to a bar here in the town I work in. I of course had to go home and take care of Katie and take a quick shower before I went, so that is what I did.

I met everyone at the bar at 7:30, and I was planning on leaving at 9 and going home to get some good sleep. HEHEHE, that didn't happen. I also wasn't planning on drinking that much, HEHEHE that didn't happen either. LOL.

I bought this new kind of drink calld PEELS which is what Budwieser is putting out now, um...I suggest no one EVER drink that crap! I know I won't. I had one sip of it and that was enough for me!!! I went and got a Bacardi Watermelon instead, which suited me just fine. I had um...2 1/2 of those and I hadn't had anything to eat all day except a bean burrito!! UM...I WAS GONE!!!

I fell off the bench we were sitting on and now I have this HUGE bruise on my shin. O'well I had fun. I got home around 11:00pm which wasn't to bad, and stayed up until 11:30, trying to figure out where I'd last seen my sock. Why in the world I was so worried about a damn sock is beyond me! LOL. Then I crashed into bed around 11:30. The alarm went off this morning at 5:45, boy did that ever come so quickly!!! Well needless to say I'm hung over, can't think worth the poo, and can't speak either. I think I may be still drunk. This will be interesting how this day plays itself out. LOL. Poor customers !!! LOL.

Well I better get back to work, not that I'm busy or anything, Just that I'm done typing for now.

Oh I'm getting a digital camera sometime in the next 2 weeks, YIPPIIEEE!!!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Ready to go home!!

I'm here at work on hold with SBC, it's so fun let me tell ya. I'm ready to go the heck home, let Katie out feed her take a nice hot bath, and go out tonight with the "girls" from work. I hope to have lots of fun (i'm not drinking much as i have to work tomorrow, and today is pay day. )

Gonna go!!!.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Pictures of me when I was young...oh the days....


I think this is when I was 2 1/2 years old, not sure, the back doesn't say, Um...I don't know what I'm doing with my hand on my ear. Mom says that was a nervous habit I had whenever my picture was taken at that age, hmmm....yeppers this proves I that I was destined to be a wierdo.

This is my most favorite picture of all times, I look so innocent here!! Little does anyone know I was not, and still not. LOL.

Here I was about 12 or 13 I can't remember which, I do believe maybe 12 it was in 7th grade, and that is a REAL fur coat I'm wearing. I was getting reading for my band concert (played the flute). (Laura remember those days?). I think I look to old for what age I'm actually am, and Surprised my father let me out of the house. LOL.

Yes I am holding a boys hand in this picture, he was one of the many that I had dated back when I was younger. This is also the skinniest I have ever been :( I miss those days!! This is also when My hair started turning Naturally curly...which Now I HATE!!!

And here I am doing my favorite sport of all times!!! This event that I am in was my favorite (not at the beginning) it was called the 500 Free style. Um that is 20 laps in one race!! I was exhausted by the time I was done, but I sure did LOVE IT!!! (See I'm wierd!)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Men are Asses...Obvisouly a lesson was not learned...

conversation between J and I on messenger. It took all it could for me not to say WTF? at his first comments. WAS HE NOT THERE WHEN THIS WAS ALL HAPPENING? DID HE NOT SEE THE FRUSTRATION? DID HE NOT SEE THAT I NEED SOME F'IN HELP? DOES HE NOT SEE THAT HE IS A VERY LAZY GUY, THAT MUST BLAME OTHERS WHEN HE HIMSELF IS NOT PERFECT? Um...i'm guess not!!!

J: well u will have ur money thursday
J: but i do no one thing rthat this is not my fault at all
J: i didnt do anything wrong or lie to u one bit
J: i was always honest and straight foward with u from the get go

angel_eyes24_79: ok
angel_eyes24_79: nobodys fault james, never said it was anybody's fault...
angel_eyes24_79: i'm not pointing blame on anyone

J: i am u didnt ever let me see u the real u

angel_eyes24_79: ok
angel_eyes24_79: i gave you nothing but the real me, and I'm sorry if i hurt you...i only did what I thought was best...

J: no u didnt give me the real maybe the last month u did
J: but u never talked to me told me what was really gong on bother u

angel_eyes24_79: nothing was bothering me until the last month in which you saw...the first months were great and that is too a part of me....i have always been up front and honest with you from the get go...about everything...and I'm sorry if you don't think hurts me just as much as you of what has happened...

J: at least u did this a month before the wedding instead of the day of
J: well im sorry i cant give u what u need maybe one day u will find someone that can

angel_eyes24_79: the same way with have to know that I do love you...that is the only reason I did don't know how much making the decision that I ultimatly had to make hurt hurt to make that decision...this is not what I wanted to happen...

J: well i guess love is nto enough anymore

angel_eyes24_79: love is what made the love for you to have the woman of your dreams is what went with my decision...I am not that had to see that in the last month we weren't getting along...we kept butting heads...this would not have worked...and love does have everything to do with this...if you did not see my emotions the through out the weekend as love...then I guess we didn't have what I thought

J: well that soung ur mom when she was trying to get me to stop all thus before u showed back up
J: tellin me u wasnt the one for me and me for u

angel_eyes24_79: I stated to you last night my parents did not have anything to do with my don't blame them

J: im not

angel_eyes24_79: as I stated there is no blame on anyone...James I prayed for this to work every night for 3 1/2 think i wanted this? I didn't...this is not what played in my head a month ago...not at all...

J: ok

angel_eyes24_79: well what do you want me to say? I'm not going to lie...and I'm not trying to say all this to make you feel like I'm a good person...I just want you know what I have and had for you was real...real enough to break me down...real enough to make me you do know this...I do not cry easily...I have never shown anyone what I have shown you...what I showed you was me...the whole got it...and I'm sorry if you don't think so

angel_eyes24_79: but like i said the ring and your camera will be at my parents thursday they will give it to you




Just here....

Well today was a different day for me. I basically walked around the day numb. No emotion no nothing, just there physically but not mentally. Just really "blah" I guess. Work was sucky, I do not like being blamed for turning off phone service when the customer didn't pay their bill in the first place. It's not my fault they can't pay bills first and have fun last.

This is a pet peeve of mine, especially now that I live on my own. You have to pay your bills before you go out and have fun. I must be an old 26 year old, since alot of the customers that call in sound older than me. I don't understand it. I hate putting bills off I get really nervous and feel guilty if I don't pay them. But again that's just me I guess.

Well I haven't heard from J, didn't think I would. I will message him either tonight or tomorrow and let him know that my parents will have his camera and my set of the wedding rings at their house on Thursday when he drops off the money for the couch.

What hurts me the most is that he did even try to make contact with me, to try and work things out. This makes me think that what we had was nothing to him. I don't know, maybe I'm just being irrational. But it does make one think, "Was I not worth fighting for?", guess not....

Well enough of the pity part for me. I'm no longer stressed out of my mind, which to me is a good thing.

Jade has to go to the vet tomorrow morning, she is getting spade, because I do not want puppies!!! She is also getting her hernia and dew claws taken off. She will be in the "animal" hospital until saturday morning. Poor Poor Poor baby!!!! I'll miss her so much, and I don't know about Katie, she just may say, WOOOHOOO all the toys and bones are MINE MINE MINE!!!!

front of dress

Monday, April 24, 2006

Well since I won't be wearing it....

Here is the link to the dress that is now hanging in my moms closet, waiting one day for its rightful owner to wear it.....*sigh*

sorry but if i did it another way it would of brought up the dress you will have to copy the link and past it sorry !!! I'm not smart at this crap!1


Well the last of what had to happened, happened. My mom called me after work stating that she had lined up a good friend of hers B and my brother Z to help move the entertainment center and my curio cabinet out of J's house. I had to do the hard part I had to tell him I'm calling it off.

I pulled up to his drive way and the stuff that was to be hauled off was not hauled off, big surprise there. I walked into the house and he had not done anything after we (my parents and I) had left last night, the bathroom was cluttered again, big surprise there. I walked into the room with the curio cabinet, I had put his clothes into the dresser and the drawer I had put his socks in was wide open? How hard is it to close a drawer?

Well I went back to his room and he was asleep. I had to wake him up and tell him that I can not do this. I was not emotional, infact i was oddly calm, I was however shaking. I told him this is not going to work, this is an issue that will always be there, and this is something that unless we both work together with will not work itself out. He just looked at me. He didn't say much, but what could he say? I mean he just woke up and he had to listen to this, what a way to wake up. I said I was willing to still date, but I don't know if this will change, that would have to be up to him to decide.

I did however tell him that he can keep the couch but I would need 600 on thursday (when he got paid) to pay back the money to the person who gave it to us to begin with as a wedding gift, it is only fair, as this didn't work out, he said he understood and that he would take it to my parents house on Thursday. I hope he keeps this part of his end up. He really has no choice, I mean I have the receipt to the couch, and i told him if it is not paid to me by thursday then we would be coming to get it. I think he will keep this promise up (ihope).

well nothing much more to say about the whole thing. It will take time to adjust to this. I'm guessing I'm single again. This was one hard thing to have to go through. But as everyone said to me today "Better now then when we were married." I'm tired, and I think I'm gonna lay with the pups and watch some tv, take a relaxing bath and chill b4 bed.

Rough...since the last time posted (WARNING LONG POST!!!)


Well lets see what has happen in the last 38 hrs since I posted the last time. Hmmm...well I've decided I'm not getting married. This is after picking up my dress and everything else. WHAT? I know what that is what you are thinking. This is what a lot of people have stated when I've told them. See if you read back in my past few post, I'm not happy. I was so totally happy until all this remodeling stuff started.

Reasons for this are : He doesn't help (and he has stated when he doesn't like doing something it's hard to make him do it, well buddy this is not gonna work), He doesn't want to move out of his home sell it and rent one. His home has A LOT and I MEAN ALOT of problems, this I did not know until I started doing the Remodeling myself, I have to scream and loose it to get anything out of him help wise. I get tired of his having to know everything and never be wrong, talking to me like I'm stupid, throwing the fact that he makes more money than me (well DUH he's a guy!! LIke anybody would know that), and I can't stand crying anymore.

You know I never noticed half these things in the very beginning, or I wouldn't of set date so close. I knew his house was a mess when we first started dating but I figured well, a little cleaning and painting and mowing and this place will be a cute house. NOPE, WRONG, GUESS AGAIN!! This is not the case. THis house is about to fall apart. I can not live like that, call me stuck up or snobby I don't care. I never would imagine myself living the rest of my life in house like that. I didn't have a great huge house growing up, it was ver very tiny in fact, ask Laura she knows. But it was always clean and the yard was emaculant (ask laura again), she this is how I would want to keep my house. I'm not stating I'm a NEAT FREAK, because I'm not, I do have my messes, but my house is still "clean" in terms of when you walk across my floor your feat don't turn black and you have flip flops on. I do not have stuff growing on or around my refridgerator. My floors in the kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room ( i don't have a laundry room i go to the laundry mat this is giving you a picture of what I'm dealing with here) are not about to fall into the basement. I don't have wholes in my walls, and my house just plain doesn't stink (unless one of the dogs messed intheir cages, and this can not be helped at times).

I can't do it, I've tried to see if he would change, he has plainly stated that he doesn't want it this way (not is so many words). He is not willing to pay 500 to 600 a month for rent for something that he will not eventually own. Oh, so this whole lets fix up the house was just all big talk, but can't pull threw with it? See I waited and waited and waited for him to say okay lets start painting or even start it without me, as this was not my house and would not be until we were married, he never did so I had to step up and start it, and GOT LITTLE TO ALMOST NO HELP. His excuse is He hates painting, well then If you aren't painting go do something else, put the sheet rock up in the bedroom, fix the damn bathroom floors, make your room mate clean his room (or move out since he's not there anyways). This by the way is how it started for my unhappiness. I love him, but I guess not enought to look over this.

My mom spent an hour and half with him alone yesterday (my mom and dad came over to help me clean as in 1 week i would have to move my stuff). She said all the same things she stated to me the day before. She looked at him and said if she were me she'd run away from this house as fast as she could, but she couldn't speak for me, but knew that I wouldn't live like this and would not want to live like this. She sat us both down when I got (from 3 1/2 hours at the laundry mat doing his Laundry..i filled 3 triple load washes and had 7 drivers going at the end). And stated that for this we need to settle this problem. We tried after my mom and dad left. But before my dad left He my mother and myself were outside by ourselves, James was inside, and mom said "I don't know honney, this is your decision if it were me I wouldn't have ever stated I would live here from the begining." she left. Dad said (see dad weed eated and racked up alot of stuff in the front yard, but only go 1/4 of the way, that is b4 J came out and stated "um my brother is gonna mow tomorrow" and walked back in, this was very rude of J) "he didn't tell me kiss my ass, thanks for nothing, or thank you." okay this is not right in my books. You do not have people help you and not thank them for their services!!

We talked and talked and talked (okay I talked and Talked and Talked). When ever I asked for his input he would say "i have nothing to say". Well this was not true because I could see he was thinking something. He finally said it, which is what I asked God to give me I asked GOd to give me a sign. "I don't want to live this house, this is the one thing I own and I don't want to give it up". Welp buddy obivioulsy the house was more important to you. I'm not living there. I said well that was my answer, and that I won't deffianlty decide anything until our last premaritial counsceling, OH THIS SURPRISED HIM.

"What's Father J gonna think, we had a perfect relationship up until now." I was thrown back, was he just asking me not to mention this to the man of god and the one who would or would not marry us? No no no, this can't be. I looked at him and said "Well J it has to be brought up, if he says we can work this out then that is fine if he says we can't work this out, I'm not waisting time on saving a marriage before it even begins." He looked at me. I looked back (mind you I am crying througout this whole ordeal!), "James this is a big enough issue that he may not even agree to marry us." I left.

I went to my parents house, walked in tears in my eyes, and stringing down my cheeks. My dad got up and hugged me, and my mom got up and hugged me, and said "This is for the best, at least you found this out now and not later." Well it still hurts, I wanted this more than anything. I wanted him more than anything, but this is just to much for 1 person to handle when the other is NOT WILLING to do anything.

My mom called Father J and told him (don't know what was said),the girl doing the cake, and the rest of my family (my invitations have not been sent out yet) I called the hair dresser, and the Photographer.

See he wanted to hand out his invitations (but ended up mailing them out, as he got the address BUT WAS NOT WILLING TO DO THIS AT THE TIME I ASKED HIM SO I COULD HAVE ALL AT ONCE MAILED OUT< This should of been a sign!!!). I looked at him and said you shouldn't of mailed them out yet, you'll have to call all those people you know. I don't know if heard me or not.

I have a couch and an ottoman that is almost 800 total worth (that I paid for) that I don't know if it will fit into my small apartment or not. I'm not keeping it there he just can't have it, he can pay me for it or i'm storing it. I also have an entertainment center there, and my brand new (it's not brandew it is an antique) curio cabinet over there. I'm not telling him that this is off until I know i can get mystuff out, and not worry about him messing anything up!!!

He's not gonna be happy, I'm not happy about it myself. THis is not what I wanted to do, this is not what I had planned. But I asked for signs and well I was slapped in the face with them.

Well I'm totally mentally and physically exhausted and this a long long post...i'll post again tonight, maybe I'll know if my couch will fit in the apartment.

Like i said I don't know if the relationship is over, it just maybe, he's not going to change and I can't make him or waste my time trying.

Well buh bye.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Fun With Mom...Exhausted with Wedding Plans

I'm leaving a picture of what Laura's dress looks like for my wedding. I will not post my gown until after the wedding (it's got to be a surprise!!)

Well today My mom and I went to pick up my wedding dress, OH OH OH I feel like a princess in this dress!!! I love it and Wish I could wear it all the time!! (Is that sick?). We had a blast, my mom and I have just recently (since I moved out) started getting along, and I think it's because we don't have to see each other everday LOL. We went to David Bridals to get the dress, Jim Bob's to eat (YUMMIE), Walmart, Hobby Lobby, some antique stores called Connies and Southside. It was fun. We left this morning at 10 and got back this evening at 6. We had a LONG LONG discussion of what has been happening with the whole remodeling J's house and me crying and not getting anywhere. She told me that I have some thinking to do, and she nor my dad would be upset if I cancelled the whole thing all together, no matter how much everything cost them so far. All they want is for me to be happy. I thought and thought about this, went over to J's and we had a big discussion, arguement, and the a discussion again. We have both come to the agreement that yes we do not know everything about each other yet, but we both no this. We both want to live in a nice house and have nice things. YEAH!!! I believe my stress has just went from HIGH to LOW. He is right now as I type this cleanin the house, and putting the carpet down.

My mother and I are going over at NOON tomorrow and clean clean clean. I can't do this myself or J himself, we need help it's too big of a challenge for the both of us. He didn't like it at first, but then he saw my point (i'm glad). I lost it tonight and now he knows what the real "bitch" in me is like. I did apologize for that. But at the end of the conversation we kissed and i was all mushy all over again. So this is how I know I do diffiantly want to marry him. I know what ever struggle God puts in front of us we can get through it. Because God never gives us more than what we can handle. I love love love him so much, and I made sure he knew this! He loves me too, and I am glad he didn't run screaming from the house when I become Possessed with "Ms. Bitch". Now he knows that I can snap, that I'm not happy all the time.

Well with that being said, and I'm so EXHAUSTED right now, and I'm going to bed, and getting up early in the morning to clean my apartment, do my laundry and then clean his house (i'll be tired tomorrow too :( )

Friday, April 21, 2006

This is getting old

Okay this crying crap is getting old, and frankly I don't like it. That is why I'm not much of a crier to begin with. I just got done talking to J and well it seems everytime I get done talking to him I get upset and think I've done and gone messed things up with our relationship. This is another reason why i haven't had a relationship since my last long term one. I forgot all the pain that comes with one. I forgot how painful love actually can be at times. How I can get very frustrated when things don't go they way they are supposed too. We are never going to get the damn house done. I was supposed to go over tonight and finish up the painting. I can't make myself do it, i'm just tired of doing it all by myself. I don't think I will ever get help on this project.

I was embarrassed when my father helped me move in the curio cabinet on Wednesday. I never thought I would be like that ever, but my God the house is a pit. It's actually the real "Money Pit". I was embarrassed when Laura came over to see it. I just don't know...I think that maybe keeping this apartment after we are married and make him live here while we TRY to fix up the house would be a better Idea. This however I have not brought up with him. I don't want to step on stones that can eventaually be picked up and thrown at me.

You know I was perfecting fine a month ago. Nothing was stressing me out. Nothing was making me upset. But it's been this month that all this has hit me. BAM. It's got to get this done and done now! I don't know.

Maybe I'm making a Mistake, and if I am it's a very costly one for my mother and father. I dont' want this to be a mistake, but at times I begin to wonder. Wonder on things that will come along down the road. Maybe I should sit down and talk to my mother about things. I don't want her to know what is going on in my relationship as this is mine and really none of her business (plus i never have been able to talk about that kind of deep stuff with her).

I think i push people away, and I don't mean to, it's just natural for me to do so. I think I push them to the point that they are just not willing to try anymore. I don't know why I do this, why I must test others, because in the end the only on that gets hurt is me. I've never been good at relationships, I mean the deep part that comes with them. I love the parts when we go do things together but when it's just the two of us alone I get really nervous. I feel like I'm an actress playing a part, and not doing so hot with it.

I'm just wierd i guess. I guess I always thought that relationships were supposed to be easy. I am rudely finding out they are not, they are some times messy, lovely, weird, sweet, rude, compassionate...and other things.

Well all I can do is ask the Lord for his help, help me be who he wants me to be, help me with this whole relationship thing, help me with trying to let J know how i feel with out loosing my marbles. Just Plan help me!

My Very First Tag!!!

Lisa has tagged me and I have to write 6 things that is weird about me. Oh goodie now I won't have any friends left!!!

1. I can not stand the feel or the sound of cardboard boxes.

2. I have no toenails on my pinky toes, none, zilch, nada.

3. I use hand sanitizer like every half hour, and I don't know why.

4. I eat ketchup on my macaroni and cheese (i know gross!)

5. When I sleep I move my right let back and forth, it rocks me to sleep.

6. I can not stand wearing shoes or socks inside the house

I really had to think on some of those!! That was harder than I thought!! Geesh!!!

Well lets see only one person I know that hasn't been tagged yet that is on my daily reads is Laura. So Tag Laura you're it!!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Emotionally and Physically exhausted....

What is it with me? It is not like me to be this way. Lately I have been crying at the drop of a freaking hat. This is not like me. Normally I only cry when I'm really mad, or watch a sad movie. But now it's like I'm not me anymore. I don't get it. I wonder if it is just stress and being totally exhausted. Tonight as I sat in the middle of my living room and just cried and cried, I felt like I was in a really really bad movie. I had this almost outer body experience as I looked down at myself and shook my head and said "Get a grip of youerself girl!". I only cried for about 2 minutes wiped my tears off and went to let the doggies out.

This occurs everytime I come home from J's house. No he's not mean to me or hurt me or anything in that nature. He loves me unconditionally, he loves me even if I nag at him to get things done. Like the other night I got up and out of bed at 11:30 at night got dressed and headed to his house, he was at work. Walked in there and started cleaning the living room, I had asked him to do this but I knew that he'd be to tired to do this. So I did it. I was there until 3 am cleaning. It was not fun, but it had to be done. And clean? That's not me either. I don't like cleaning! I mean my apartment is not a pit by anymeans, but I alwasy find something better to do then clean. For some odd reason with his house I just want to clean clean clean clean. I'm not me, who is this person? Am I possessed?

While I was cleaning the living room at his house I had to find some rope to move the roll of carpet we have not layed yet to the other side of the room. Well I put the rope around the carpet as I did this a icky big spider jumped out at me. I freaked I hate spiders. It was one of those really fast ones, like the ones that chase you as you try to kill it, yeah it was fun. Well anyways I killed it, I know he did nothing wrong to die. Oh except scare the pee out of me that was reason enough for me.

But anyways, I was tugging this carpet to the other side of the room and let me tell you this it was HEAVY!!! I mean it took two of to get it in, and we really needed maybe 2 more people to help. And then I rolled up the plastic we had layed out to catch paint that would of dropped on the floor. I stop while I was rolling the plastic back up. That's when I realized we don't have blinds on any of the windows in that room. And i had all the lights on in the room. If anyone was walking or driving down the street at that moment, they would of seen me with:

1. A rope, 2. Using something in my hand and swating the floor with it 3. Having a very difficult time with moving something on the floor and 4. rolling up (or to them maybe unrolling) thick plastic. What would this person think I was doing? I am surprised that cops didn't pull up into the drive, as this person probably thought I just killed someone. Yeah it didn't look good, and most of his neighbors don't know who I am. I don't think most of them know we are getting married. So this is the leason I learned in the future. Do not do those 4 things at 2 in the morning with all lights on and no blinds. NOT GOOD!

Anyways that is way off my subject: I wonder if I'm getting cold feet? Is this what it is? Please someone whose been married or no someone that has gotten married, is this what it is? I mean it's only 5 weeks from tomorrow (friday) that I'm getting married. Could I possible have cold feet?

HELP!!! I want to stop crying all the damn freaking time!!!


Well nothing very exciting happened today. Unless takeing 2 tums for heart burn can be considered exciting! LOL.

I'm supposed to go paint tonight, but you know what I'm SO EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. It needs to be done so I guess I will go for a while. Will see if J did any of the things I asked him (probably not) i don't know about him sometimes. I'm beginning to think that I'm way out of my league with this whole thing. He doesn't ever do anything I ased if it is to do with anything in the house. He won't pick up after himself, I love him to death but he's starting to get on my last nerve. I can't bare to tell him all of this so I just bite my tongue. I know if I ask him to do stuff in the near future I'm going to flip my lid, and we don't want that!

I finally found a salon that will do my hair and Laura's hair for the wedding, thank god seeing it is only 5 weeks away. J is about to drive me insane with not having a tux yet. He states "it will get here it will get here", yeah BUT WHEN!!!! I'm about to go get 2 tuxes myself and make him tell the dude to give him his money back. I've woken up 2 times in the past 2 weeks at 3 in the morning stressing about DAMN TUXES, shouldn't the groom-to-be be stressing about this? He doesn't seem to freaking care (would of loved to use a different word there, couldn't bring myself to do so). ARRGGHHH, someone please slap me! NO NO NO Wait SOMEONE SLAP HIM! There I'll just sit back and watch! LOL.

Well I'm at work like usual, we aren't busy but I'm tired of typing LOL. Take care!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Just Blah....

There's nothing much to really post about that is a big interest or happening in my life right now. SO this will most than likely be a really boring post. LOL, but I remind myself that this is not for others but for myself as a "diary", so who cares if it's boring?! Right?!

This weend was a big blurr, I had a 3 day weekend had friday off. I painted ALL WEEKEND LONG, and after painting realized that I do not like the living room in one solid color! SO now I have to go back and do all the trim and door ways in White, which sucks majorly! Help would be nice...I got a "little" help through out the weekend only when I fussed and got mad at someone. But o'well I'm guessing that this is most likely all married couples, oh fun fun, but isn't this so supposed to start AFTER we are married? HAH!

I went over to my parents house last night and took Katie and Jade with me. Katie just about flipped a lid when I pulled onto their street, she knew where she was going. She was going to "GRANDMA'S" (these are dogs i'm talking about now LOL). Jade well she is not an "outside" dog unless it's to go out to potty and right back in, because I don't have a closed in yard. But she JUST LOVED my parents' back yard. She was running around sniffing this and that, peeing everything. I think she ran out of pee before the night was over. She was loving every minute of it until my father let his bird dog "missy" out of her pen. Missy came over to Jade and sniffed her (she's a small bird dog but still like 100 percent bigger than Jade) and then started dancing around as to say "OH a new friend, a new friend, Oh goody!" well this freaked Jade out (my scardy cat of a dog). Her eyes got really big almost popping out of her head her ears perked up and went back and she took in a dead run across the yard and leaped into my lap. As if she was saying "Oh shit, mommy, that beast is huge! HELP!" We all a laughed at this.

Missy dropped her head and walked towards my dad, as if she was saying "Daddy she doesn't like me? Whats wrong with me?" LOL. THen Katie saw that Missy was out and Missy forgot about her horrible not making friends with Jade session, as the two leaped and bounded through the yard, all while Katie was nipping at Missy's heals. Missy and Katie are best of friends. They grew up together as puppies. They love love love each other!

Then I went home, did dishes for 45 mintues while I cooked myself some supper. Yeah I had a lot of dishes for 1 person! I can't wait until I have a dishwasher! Stayed up and watch some TV, with my exhausted puppies in my lap snoring away. Katie snores very loudly for being a wienee dog, Jade, she's a wienee too but she doesn't snore loudly, she just sighs loudly! I watched "My Date with Drew Barrymore" it was cute. THen took a bath, while in the bath prayed for the Bolin family as they are going through a very very very horrific time right now. Prayed for the Underwood family as they took are going threw a horrific time right now. And prayed that Justice will be done to the awful man who did this AWFUL thing. Then went to bed.

YUP told you this was going to be a boring post! Well at work and it's lunch time, FOOD!!!!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

My Feelings on this whole matter...

I don't live in Independence just work there. When this whole thing happened I was like OMG! Even though this is was a "hoax", I was very glad and admire the community of Independence as they came together for 1 person and her family, even if they did not know her. This tells you alot about the community. As I say this I'm not saying I approve of what Kelsey did, that way beyond my point. I just know that if this was to happen again the community would put this inncodent behind them in that time of Crisis to help again. I could not say that for my community from where I am from.

On the whole ordeal, I'm a shocked, confused, and just as disgusted as the rest of you. I could have NEVER thought up something like this at her age. I just don't understand children these days. They have no sense of right or wrong, what are parents telling and teaching their children?

As not doing this for attention? I don't buy that one, she had to know when she called 911 what an uproar it would of made. Notice she didn't call her mom first to state she was kidnapped? If she had her mother would of called the police and then it would be a 24 hr wait to start the search. You learn this as this same thing is now happening in Oklahoma for a poor unfortunate 10 year old girl. They did not issue an amber alert until 24 hrs after her disapperance. My point is she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. Also spending the day southwest of Independence? No I don't believe that either, in her call you CAN hear her talking to someone else in the background. I believe she had someone with her, and she is trying to protect them from this same public humility. The story about her being SW of Indy doesn't add up. As she was found on the East side of Indy. She could of not walked from the SW to North East without someone seeing her!!! She was probably in that patch of woods all day, and I believe she threw her phone in the river.

I'm glad she is home and safe and nothing truly happened to her. I'm not so sure if punishment is the best policy in this case. I think that therapy would be better than punishment. Get down to the fact of why she would do this, why she would hurt her family and her community for some "attention". She mad a bad choice of trying to call out for help.

The chief stated "medical issues". And then the spokesman stated "pressure". This leads me to believe that the medical and pressure issue are something way bigger then just being depressed, or insane. I'm not going to state what I believe, as I don't want to start any more rumors than there are.

I'm am just glad that she is safe, and hopefully her family will get her the help she needs. As the bible states "We shall forgive but never forget". I forgive her, she deservice at least that. I think everyone should forgive her, not to bennefit her, but to put our minds at peace.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


Girl admits to lying about abduction
The Wichita Eagle

Kelsey Stelting
Audio: Listen to the 911 call (.mp3)
Transcript: 911 call from Kelsey Stelting
Previous story: Officials divulge little info in case
Previous story: Relief in Independence as girl, 16, is found safe

Kelsey Stelting admitted to FBI and police investigators this morning that she was not kidnapped.

The disappearance of the 16-year-old Independence High School junior rattled her hometown on Tuesday, but had prompted growing skepticism in the past two days.

Kelsey said in a cell phone call to 911 about 6:35 a.m. Tuesday that a man had forced her into a white van. She appeared unharmed 15 hours later at a residence less than a mile away from her home. She was interviewed numerous times by investigators, but they never released a description of a suspect.

Eileen Dierks, who was home when Kelsey appeared at her door Tuesday night, told The Eagle today that a police officer talked to Kelsey for about 45 minutes on her front steps before taking the girl to city hall to see her family. Kelsey, who told the Dierks that she had fought with her kidnapper in a wooded area nearby, refused an offer of water and didn't have a scratch on her, Dierks said.

The next day, Dierks said, she and other family members were interviewed by the FBI. They were asked whether Kelsey had cried. Thinking back, the girl had seemed "so scared" but Eileen Dierks didn't recall seeing any tears.

Now that the girl's ordeal has turned out to be a hoax, "As a mother, my heart breaks for her," Dierks said. "This is a girl who had all these things going for her.... How is her life going to be now?"

Bynum said Kelsey's family intended to release a statement about 4 p.m. today.

Kelsey told investigators at about 9:30 a.m. today that no one else was involved in her disappearance. She said she jogged southwest of town to place the 911 call. It was traced to that area, prompting a statewide Amber Alert that noted she was thought to be in van heading south toward Oklahoma on U.S. 75.

In reality, she spent the day alone, on foot.

The police investigation was assisted by the KBI and about two dozen federal agents.

FBI agent Jeff Lanza said that most reports of stranger abductions are true.

Making a false criminal report is a misdemeanor.

For more on this story, check for updates and read Friday's Eagle.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


here is the 911 tape that she made stating she was kidnapped you'll click on the Amber Alert Hoax? in the little box above Kelsey's head! This to me proves that she is not lieing, that she generally sounds scared and doesn't know what to do...

Click on the side bar!!!

Well Kelsey was found safe last night after 10pm. As to how she got away or what actually happened no one but the police, the FBI, or herself will know for a while. A lot of people here feel that this is a little "fishy" as for me I think it really happened. But that's me. I know when i was 16 or 17 I could never think up something like that, and I hope this is not the case with her. I'm glad she is safe and back home with her mom and dad! No family should have to go through this whatso ever!!

I can not imagine what it would be like one day when I have children and one of them come up missing! All I know is that when I can't find one of my dogs I freak the hell out! As they are my children and the closet thing I'll have as children for a while at least! I'm just so proud of the community here pulling together and getting fliers out as quickly as possible. I've heard that there were fliers put as far as Joplin. This makes me feel safe, although I don't live in this town and only work here, I live a town 20 miles south east of the Independence, and Frankly I do not know if our town would of pulled together for 1 family that quickly as Independence did. This not only effected the Stelting family it effected the whole community as a whole. Everyone now knows that this kind of stuff does not just happen in the Big City Life!

Well with that being said, I'm taking down the amber alert link and wishing everyone a great day! and happy HUMP DAY!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Trying do My part to help...

In the town I work in a 16 year old female was kidnapped by gun point. I'm posting the link to the amber site with her information. I'm just trying to help find her. Please keep her in your thoughts! Thank You!, on the side bar is the link to the site you can click on and read. I'm an idiot sorry!!.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Painting and Nervous Breakdown...

Well like i stated yesterday I went and painted for a while at James' house. When I got down I went home and got things together, and went back over to his house. We needed to sit down and discuss the reception and rehearsal dinner. When I asked him to get the addresses for his side of the list, he didn't want to, he just wanted to hand them out to his people (lol his people). I got all upset and started crying and yelling, and stated that isn't the proper way. We need to mail them out. He got upset I got upset. We had a fight over FREAKIN INVITATIONS!!! MY GOD!!!

Well after I sat there and cried, I cried so hard that I was hyperventalting. We both realized that I was just stressed out to the max. I realized that I was being a bitch and told him it was fine for him to pass out his invitations, but when it was time to pass out thank you cards he'd have to do the same thing. He said that was okay. I left his house all blotchy faced and snot nosed. This is the first "real" fight we have ever had. But he mad sure I was not upset or mad before I left, he didn't want me to leave like that. I love him so much, and I felt bad for acting the way I did.

I have now handed everything over to my mother. She is now in charge of the planning and making sure everything goes as planned, LOL. She doesn't stress out easily like I do.

But then today a customer got me so upset, and I mean upset by angry not sad, that I started to cry again. I don't cry easily you can ask anyone, but once I start to cry I can't stop. I'm one of those people who cries when they are mad, and then cries harder when they realize that they are being stupid for crying.

I just have to think that this is something NOT to get stressed over about. Even my mom says that it's hard for one person to do, she has my aunt to help her. With the planning of the wedding, work, and trying to fix up the house it's all just go to me. Not to mention the 10 hrs of total sleep I had for the last 7 days. I just need to chill. The girls at work walked in on me in the break room while I was crying, but I tried to pretend I wasn't crying, but they saw through the act and reassured me that everything is going to be okay. They are doing my cake and punch and stated that they will tend to other matters, like the finger foods if it needs to be, to make sure it all goes as planned. They are suck good people, I'm glad I have them as friends!!!

What I hate the most about crying is the damn after cry headache that you get. The one that you can't get rid of until you sleep...yeah I have one right now. I'm gonna take a long hot hot bath and calm down. Becaue I know in the end everything will turn out just fine and as planned.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Shots, Wrinkles, Wedding Bells...and more!!

Yesterday was a very long day for me. Well Let me start from Friday, because from Friday night leading into yesterday was So SO So full of events.

Friday night after leaving work James calls me stating that his sisters rehearsal dinner is at 5:30, reminder I have hole in my pants, I was stated that I'm not dressed for a rehearsal dinner. He said that is what he thought, and I asked why he didn't mention this sooner that way I could be pepared. He said he didn't know until 2 that afternoon. I said it's up to him if he wants to go. He said we didn't have too. I hang up, then call him back and stated that we better go it would mean a lot to his mom, dad, and sister. I had him meet me a Catos so I can find a quick outfit to wear. He paid for it, and that was not my attentions! He is such a sweetie!! Well we get there and it's raining, and we help his mom put out the food as everyone was arriving. It was a nice dinner, brisket, tators, salad and drinks. We leave the dinner around 8pm. I finaly get home and the dogs are going out of their minds!!!

Saturday I got up at 7 in the morning because I had to take Jade to the vets to get her parvo vaccine. See the original vet only gave her 2 shots for this and told me she wouldn't need another until she was a year old, I thought this was odd as Katie had 4 shots for this vaccine. Well 2 weeks ago she (Jade) came down with Parvo. I rushed her to the vets and they hospitalized her for 3 days. SO I take both dogs to the vets beecause I didn't want Katie to feel left out in not going on a bye bye trip. Well I pulled into the parking lot and told Katie she had to stay in the car, but when i got out she jumped out the door and started running around the parking lot. I'm yelling at her to stop, and she finally does. So I put her back in the car and go in and Jade gets her shot.

I got home and went to wal-mart because I need black pants for the wedding. I get those and come back home and get ready. I go and pick up James at 11, and he's not even up yet. So i got him up and asked him where his suit was he stated on the couch. I go to the couch and see the suit laying there in a heap. I was LIke great! He can't go to a wedding with wrinkles everywhere. I'm kinda mad, and I think he knew it. He kept stating that it was okay, and I kept stating no it's not you can not go to a wedding in a mass of wrinkles. Well neither of us owns an iron (see i don't have use for an iron as I have wrinkle reducer spray, AND I HANG MY CLOTHES UP SO THEY DON"T GET WRINKELED!!!) so I had to go Family Dollar which was right behind his house to get an iron. So here I am on my knees Ironing his dress shirt on the coffee table ontop of a towel. Well I did the best I could with what I was working with, and I haven't ironed a dress shirt since my mom showed me how when i was like 10 years old!!! He looked very handsome, and sexy in his suit!!!

We get to the church 15 minutes before the wedding is to start, because we had NO Clue where this church was, we went the wrong way and the church was on the opposite side of town than we were on. So we get there and we seat ourselves and we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. by 1:15 his mom calls him on his cell, his dad was lost. So he had to find his dad. by 1:50 the wedding started (the wedding was to start at 1:00). It was a beautiful ceremony, a differen't on, as it was held in a Mormon church, but all the same it was beautiful. His sister looked like cinderella, and his neice was so cute as the flower girl. She stood up there and kept on throwing pettles out of the basket, SO CUTE!!!

The reception/dance was fun also. Except we did a lot of running around, to get things that were forgotten back at his mom's house. I think I finally ate around 5pm, this is the first meal of the day for both James and I. We left around 6:30 and Got back to the 'Ville around 7:15. I told him I was going home and resting as my feet hurt and I was exhausted, he understood. We talked about what we wanted at our reception (which is cake punch and finger foods and that's it) and how we want our ceremony to go. I'm nervous like hell, I just hope everything goes as planned!!!

I'm getting ready to go over to his house right now and Paint, we have to have all painting done by Thursday so that way we can use the 3 day weekend to revise the other rooms in the house. His house has to be fixed up by the 2nd week in May as my stuff will be moved in at that time. And then I'm going to stay with My mom and dad for 2 weeks before the wedding. I've promised my mother I would not live with him until we are married, and this is the arrangement we've come up with.

So that was my interesting weekend. Probably boring to anyone else, but you had to live the events to make exciteable (is that a word? if so is that spelt right?) I guess...

Well off to Paint!!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

It's Friday!!!

Well it's 4:41pm on a Friday afternoon, and guess what? I have 18 minutes left of work!!!! THANK GOD!!! I'm about to go insane!!! List the events of what has happened today. A little timeline if you will!

5:45 am - Alarm clock goes off. Like usual I turn over and slam the snooze button. Roll over and go back to sleep.

5:54 am - Alarm clock goes off again. Same thing, smashed the snooze button rolled over and got a cold nose on my back, KATIE!!

6:03 am - Alarm clock goes off YET again (why I set it so early, I don't know). This time as a rolled over I was met by soft brown eyes pleading to go outside.

6:04 am - Got up got the robe got Katie, actually had to wake Jade up to get her out of her cage and took them both outside.

6:24 am - FINALLY!!! For really needing to go outside it took Katie 20 minutes to do her morning duties. I blame that on the Stray Cats outside, she kept barking at them. Jade she was done within 3 minutes!

6:30 am - take shower (well bath I unfortunately do not have a shower :*( )

6:45 - Get out of tub get around for work, forget to eat breakfast, but remember to feed the "babies".

7:00 am - Put "babies' in their cage, listened to them whine, told them if they pooped in their cages they would be in big big big trouble!! Gave them treats and grabbed my purse.

7:15 am - on my way to work somehow I realize that the jeans I'm wearing have a hole in them in the inner left thigh. My favorite pair too :(

7:30 am - arrive to work (on top YEAH!!!)

8:00 am - Noon - Answered the phones at work, boy we were busy!!!

Noon - 12:45pm - took lunch, which entailed going to wal-mart to find new pair of pants. Couldn't find any there so I went to Cato's, and couldn't find anythere either. (Well of course they had PANTS, but non that I would wear!).

12:46pm - Realized I'm gonna have to wear holy pants until I can go home and change :( bummer

12:48 pm - Pulled into sonic and order a junior bacon cheese burger and a small diet Dr. Pepper.

1:00 pm - Clocked in back from lunch sat at my desk and at my cheese burger and drank my Dr. Pepper.

1pm - 4:52 (now) - Answered phones read blogs, and posted on mine.

Boy don't you just envy my life? Don't you just want to be me REALLY REALLY BAD? HAH!

This weekend is going to be busy. Tomorrow I have to go to James' sisters wedding, and then on Sunday we are painting all day, BECAUSE IT'S GOT TO BE DONE JAMES!!!! That was just a reminder for him :) LOL.

Well since I've bored you to tears it's almost time to clock out YIPPEEE!!!! I'll probably post tomorrow or try to Sunday !!!


Thursday, April 06, 2006


As I sit here in my recliner my town is surounded by all sides of nothing but tornadoes. We however have nothing going on here. It's really weird. I work 20 minutes away in the city north of here. They just had a tornado go through it, the Highway I take home now has a tornado on it, south of me where my cousins live in oklahoma there are tornadoes. It's strange here it's really windy and light outside. Nothing seems to be coming this way. I probably shouldn't say that as it might, and well i'm dressed for bed, not dressed to go out to a shelter LOL. I hope all my fellow employees are safe, all of them are undercover right now.

It's nothing unusual for us to have weather like these, but it's really unusual for it to happen all at once! Tornado Alley is our nickname. I'm not one to watch the weather channel, but that is my choice of programming tonight. 19 tornadoes reported today and most of them in Kansas. It will be like this until early June.

Oh there's the thunder...hehe told you I should of not said anything!!! I just want sleep tonight as I only got 4 hours sleep last night and that makes it a total of 4 hours sleep for 2 days. Fun Fun!!! This kind of weather always makes me sleep good. So I think that's where I'm headed, I know it is only 6:22pm but I'm tired!!!

I'm going to get the pet taxi out for the pups just incase we have to evacuate and go somewhere safe, but more than likey we won't. I just looked out my window, damn I wish i had a digital camera right now!!! It's sunney here and dark black all around me, it's actually a neat sight!!!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


After about 4 hours of brainstorming I finally remembered how to do HTML. Goodness I can be SO blonde sometimes! I'm exhausted, I have had no sleep since Monday night. But Right now I'm watching American Idol. I'm really not into this season as I was last season, for the last couple of weeks its been basically background noise while I do other things.

I had a terrible day at work today. The phones never stopped ringing, and it was always the same thing over and over again. I can't call out long distance, aren't I supposed to have long distance? I felt like a freaking robot repeating myself over, and over, and over again. Then I ran a CC for a customer and accidentally ran it for 20 dollars Less then the amount she owed. So i voided that transaction and then reran the card, (not thinking), for the right amount, when I should of just ran the card again for 20.00 more, and not voided the first transaction. I wasn't thinking. Well I sure did catch HELL for that from the customer. Course I couldn't blame her I would of been mad too.

Well I'm leaving on this note...with a picture of James and I. I asked him the other day if he minded if I put his name and pic up on my sites. He stated No he didn't care. I'm hopefully in the near future going to get a really good digital camera that takes pictures and video, that way I can post all the stupid and silly things I take pictures of. Oh alright it's to post pictures of our 3, 4 legged children, Katie, Jade, and Lady!!! Oh well doggies are always good pictures too, they are almost as cute, messy, and demanding as children!!! Well anyways here's the pic.

Goodnight all, have a wonderful evening and I'll be sure to post tomorrow. (mostly wedding stuff probably ).


Okay I may just be a ditz, but i can not figure out on the life of me how to put blogroller on my blog!!!! and I want to list my daily reads..

This is so frustrating!!! ARRGGGHH!!!

A pic of me WOOPDY DOO

Well here's is just ONE of my engagement pictures. I'll post one with James and I later I haven't emailed the pic from home to me here at work.

I have 7 more weeks until the big day, and a hell of a lot of work left to do (mainly on the house)!!! I can't wait to be FINISHED LOL.

At work will post again later.