Monday, April 10, 2006

Painting and Nervous Breakdown...

Well like i stated yesterday I went and painted for a while at James' house. When I got down I went home and got things together, and went back over to his house. We needed to sit down and discuss the reception and rehearsal dinner. When I asked him to get the addresses for his side of the list, he didn't want to, he just wanted to hand them out to his people (lol his people). I got all upset and started crying and yelling, and stated that isn't the proper way. We need to mail them out. He got upset I got upset. We had a fight over FREAKIN INVITATIONS!!! MY GOD!!!

Well after I sat there and cried, I cried so hard that I was hyperventalting. We both realized that I was just stressed out to the max. I realized that I was being a bitch and told him it was fine for him to pass out his invitations, but when it was time to pass out thank you cards he'd have to do the same thing. He said that was okay. I left his house all blotchy faced and snot nosed. This is the first "real" fight we have ever had. But he mad sure I was not upset or mad before I left, he didn't want me to leave like that. I love him so much, and I felt bad for acting the way I did.

I have now handed everything over to my mother. She is now in charge of the planning and making sure everything goes as planned, LOL. She doesn't stress out easily like I do.

But then today a customer got me so upset, and I mean upset by angry not sad, that I started to cry again. I don't cry easily you can ask anyone, but once I start to cry I can't stop. I'm one of those people who cries when they are mad, and then cries harder when they realize that they are being stupid for crying.

I just have to think that this is something NOT to get stressed over about. Even my mom says that it's hard for one person to do, she has my aunt to help her. With the planning of the wedding, work, and trying to fix up the house it's all just go to me. Not to mention the 10 hrs of total sleep I had for the last 7 days. I just need to chill. The girls at work walked in on me in the break room while I was crying, but I tried to pretend I wasn't crying, but they saw through the act and reassured me that everything is going to be okay. They are doing my cake and punch and stated that they will tend to other matters, like the finger foods if it needs to be, to make sure it all goes as planned. They are suck good people, I'm glad I have them as friends!!!

What I hate the most about crying is the damn after cry headache that you get. The one that you can't get rid of until you sleep...yeah I have one right now. I'm gonna take a long hot hot bath and calm down. Becaue I know in the end everything will turn out just fine and as planned.

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