Wednesday, May 10, 2006

To fill you all in....

Okay today on my yahoo 360 my ex posted his very first post to his blog. And well it was meant for me to see since I was his only friend on his list. I thought about it and thought about it, and finally I just could not sit back and watch him run me into the dirt the way he did. So here is what I posted on the 360....I think I handle myself very well...I said what I needed to say, and I didn't it nicely but firmly.

Offended...
Okay, I've thought about this today, and well I'm just gonna post it. I know that this person reads this blog, as they (meaning he) posted a post that was point blank towards me. So it's only fair that I put my thoughts down as well.

First of all they (he) does not grasp the true concept of why and what made me make the deicision I had to make. They (he) are also making me out to be a total bitch. Which infact yes, I can be a bitch, but this infact was not a BITCH making the decision. They (he) also knows what went on the 3 1/2 weeks before this decision was made. They (he) really never did anything to help the situation. Understandable what I was asking them (he) to do was something they (he) didn't want to do. But, that's not why I'm posting this.

I truly love them (him) and still love them (him) right now. I was not asking them (him) to change, nor give up their (his) hobby. All I wanted to know is if they (he) really needed all that stuff at one time for one project.

I never implied that "we can date but not get married" if they (he) would of listened to me, I said "at this time I don't think we should GET married, we can still date...but that decision would be left up to you." We both found out stuff about each other over those 3 1/2 weeks, and I think that we had some sitting down and talking to do and stuff to work out, before we jumped into a DECISION that may not have been the BEST for either of us. They (he) doesn't understand I much I hurt that weekend. They (he) never tried to talk to me the day I broke the news, they (he) just sat there starring at me. Sure I understand, what can you say when someone gives you a blow like that? But something something, reacting in a way, any way, would of been better.

There are 2 reasons that made me make this decision, and non of it was what they (he) implied in their (his) post. I never said that "you can't give me what I want" that is not what went down. The 2 reasons are these: 1. Mom and 2. Dad. OH before they (he) goes into tirant, they did not PUSH me in any decision I made. What I saw that Sunday was all I needed to see. Disrespect. That's right, it's okay to disrespect me...but never my parents.

The (he) knew what we were doing that Sunday (my mom and I, I didn't know my father was doing what he was doing until later), and they (he) said that he would take a little "nap". That little nap went forever, and forced my mother who is 59 and my father who is 70 and a heart patient to do alot of heaving moving. They also did this out of love for the both of us. They thought they were helping, and that this help would be appreciated. Which they were, on my part, not so for sure on the others. What they (he) said to my father is what really didn't make me happy..."don't know why you are doing that. My brother is doing it tomorrow" and didn't even OFFER to help my father. They (he) just walked back inside to watch my mother work.

All of this I was unaware of, up until this point I was blaming what I was experiencing as "cold feet" or PMS. But as I listened to what was unfolding it got me thinking...thinking that this is not going to work. To not thank someone when they help you out (even if you aren't used to people offering to help) is just not right in my book. I had to point out that they (he) did not tell my parents thank you, they (he) tried to say that they (he) did, but they (he) did not. I had to leave them (him) their number to call and say thank you.

Disrespecting me is fine, but never my family or my friends. That is where I drawl the line. Granted they never did disrespect me or mistreat me in any way, they (he) really loved me, and I know this. There is alot more I could post right now, but I think I got my point accross to them (him).

I didn't EVER want this !! Not at all, I didn't have my parents buy a 1,000 dollar dress just so it could be boxed up and put away, never to be worn, never in my wildest dreams did I WANT this to happen. But there is 2 people in a relationship and that last 3 1/2 weeks, there really was only 1, me. I don't think bad about this person, as they are who they are, and I know that now, and yes they were honest from the beginning, and I thought, well I can handle this, but in reality I could not.

That's it, I would greatly appreciate for this person to stop playing me to be the bitch. That I'm the WHOLE reason that this happened. Like I stated to them the day after, I point not faults one 1 person, just alot of things played out to be not good in this situation would of been with us through out our lives. We are 2 different people, we didn't see that in the beginning, what I saw that last 3 1/2 weeks was not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So if you must point blame at someone please do not point it towards me, nor you, but the Situation, which was, we didn't fit together as well as we thought we did.

That's all....


So...yeah...and I did all that while under the influence of prescribed painkillers, and I think I did a nice job...

9 of you stopped by and said:

At 2:52 AM, Blogger BarnGoddess said...

you sound like your doing okay. Men are such idiots...

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger Rebecca said...

Men suck...never allow a guy to place ALL the blame on you...it takes two to Tango. It does sound like you found out early enough not to destroy your future...or at least to prepare you for your possibilites if ya'll ever worked anything out.

Can you believe Chris was let go???
I was shocked....

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger butterfly_chic26 said...

barngoddess - actually yes i'm doing good. And after posting that post, it was like more weight has lifted off my shoulders, I think that I just needed to get that stuff off my chest. And yes men are idiots! But God love 'em, they can't help it, lol.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger BarnGoddess said...

Has your ex-fiance read any of your posts prior to you cancelling the wedding? I thought you were fair in telling him why you were not happy and gave options on how the 2 of you could fix it. Men! I think the majority of them use less than half thier brains....

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger butterfly_chic26 said...

barngoddess - no he has not read this blog. He does not have this address. I did not post any of the happenings on my 360 as I didn't feel like putting up with comments or such that might come from him. I vented here, oh how lucky you all are LOL.

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger bethanie said...

Yikes - I bet he'll respond with something back to you.

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I would have went farther and just used names. I don't know what he posted, but honey you were not the bad guy in this, you made the choice that was best for you, it is your life and mariage is forever!

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger butterfly_chic26 said...

Bethanie - yup I got a response back from him. It wasn't bad though so that is good. He want's to work it out, I told him I just don't know.

Lisa - LOL @ using names :D He assured me that he was not telling everyone what a b he thinks I am. Although how much can you believe with a situation like this? Yes, this decision was the best for me, and I like you believe marriage is forever, and I'm bound and determined to do it forever, whenever, that forever comes.

 
At 1:45 PM, Anonymous Hannah said...

You did the right thing-- following your gut! A decision like this is never easy, but good for you for having courage!

 

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