Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Blubbering Idiot...

So no real topic for this entery, and I do apologize deeply for it.

I got up at 4:50 this morning,only after bein asleep for about 3 hrs, and I had to drive to Bartlesville to the weight clinic. Yeah, I knew it before i got on the scale. I didn't gain any weight but I didn't loose any either, how depressing!!!! I'm going to give myself 1 more month of this weight clinic thing (that has helped 2 times in the past) and if still nothing next month I'm done doing the 70 bucks amonth thing for no good reason.

Drama to galore at work, OMG! I'm not gonna get into the situations, but i'm just gonna say OMG, one more time for my sanity.

I emailed J today, we've been talking on and off for about 2 weeks. I don't know where it's gonna go, or if it will go anywhere, pfft...i don't know...I do miss him ALOT!!!

Been thinking alot of a past boyfriend of mine, Nate, well yeah, I got a nice desturbing email from him about a month ago, he's getting married in October, i was like "ppfffttt...whatever". LOL. He couldn't make up his mind when we dated if he wanted a freaking girlfriend, i don't know, I learned my leason on that one quickly, don't sleep with someone until you really know who they are! Yeah, not a good thing.

My bathtub drain is draining slowly, kind of like the pace of a snail, it's really annoying. I put Draino in the drain, pfft, it didn't help, kind of made it worse. *Shrugs*, this is why we need men around, lol.

My body is screaming baby, and my head is screaming NO NO NO NO. I only get this way after holding a baby, and I haven't held a baby since my cousin and she's um 2 1/2 now, lol. This is coming from a woman who really can't stand children. Well I shouldn't say that I like children, okay, that's a lie, SOME CHILDREN ARE NICE, then there's the others that you swear the movie the OMEN was based on, yeah, those type of children I don't like. They make me scream and run the other direction.

My sister-in-law and brother keep joking for me to hurry up and get pregnant because they have dibs on my first born, lol. I'm always like, "Okay let me get right on top of that." LOL. In actuality if this EVER did happen and i wasn't married, I'd better move 4 states away, change my phone number and make it unlisted, BEFORE deciding on telling my mom. HEHEHE.

I'm not pregnant so no ideas should be forming in your little heads, lol, just is just what has been going through my mind for the last couple of weeks. You know it would be a whole lot easier if we could just get our selves pregnant, so we wouldn't have to have those icky men attached to us as well, lol.

Told my SIL and brother the name I want to name my boy, and they laughed at it, and told me that I couldn't possibly really mean that, and that no child should be tortured like that, I don't think it's a bad name :( *Sniff Sniff* I don't see anything wrong with the name BENJAMIN do you?!? It's just a name that I came up with when i was a kid, and my only boy doll (an imatation cabbage patch) name is Benjamin, and that is the only name for a boy that has EVER popped into my head, my mother hates it as well. :( I mean I wouldn't call him BENJAMIN, I would shorten it to BEN, I think that is a strong name for a boy, and he can grow old with it.

See nothing much about nothing....sorry....scattered brained today....only 3 hrs sleep. Went to bed around 10 got back up at 11 not being able to fall asleep, went back to bed around 1:30, and when i layed down I was so fortuniate enough to lay in pee, yeah, that was a nice present!!! Got really angry put the pups in the cage, where they stayed for the rest of the night, and changed the sheets cleaned up the mess and finally went to sleep, but not before I started balling because I couldn't go to sleep! I'm so pathetic sometimes LOL. I always hear about people crying themselves to sleep, which indeed I have done, but no one has ever heard of someing crying because they COULDN'T go to sleep. I just get so frustrated sometimes, I'm tired and I know i'm tired, and it's like the brain JUST WON"T FREAKING SHUT UP!!!! It's like HELLO, can we not worry about this UNTIL TOMORROW SLEEP DAMIT SLEEP! Nothing works, I try counting i've gotten to 2000 before and it doesn't work, sheep just freak me out so i don't eve go there, i try to think of happy things doesn't work, try to think of sad things, doesn't work. I finally give up and go take something that WILL WORK. Tylenol and NyQuil have become my best of friends. I don't abuse them by no means. It is just sometimes a person just needs to go to freaking SLEEP! LOL.

Well I guess that is enough blabber for one night, I hope it makes sense. Again sorry for jumping around so much.......

1 of you stopped by and said:

At 8:17 AM, Blogger BarnGoddess said...

I went to diet MD in B-ville, it didnt work for me at all! Those pills made me feel pukey, maybet hats why you feel that way. I did go to a good diet MD in Owasso a long time ago, Im not sure if he is still there tho. Im glad your emailing J, thats cool. Dont get into a rush over babies.....I had my 2nd at 34 and my cousin had her first at 38! You have TONS of time.


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