Saturday, September 30, 2006


For the life of me I can not come up with interesting titles these days...what's wrong with me!?!?

So the 1-2 on me and J, we are together again, it's more horsey footen around...we are doing this relationship thing again. The reason why he was so slow during the week is that he didn't want to get hurt, which is understandable. I don't either. Saw him last night...we had a great time...we laughed and talked, and ate, it was a good time. We both realized that if we were both so depressed the last 4 months then there was something not right with the whole situation. Normaly one of the 2 out of the couple would of moved on by now...and neither of us had. That was another sign.

My parents seem to be happy for me, he even told his mom too. Which I know now that he is serious about this if he told his mom. Both set of parents have told us just to take it

I went to my 11 year old nephews football game today, he won 13-0, they are undefeated right now. WOOOHOO Go Dalton!!! I will post pictures and a short video clip of a play probably tomorrow. Right now I'm wrestleing with the fact I ate at Taco Mayo last night, and it never agrees with me, and Why i thought i had to eat it, I don't know!!

Just wanted to let you all know taht I'm still alive and kicking, and give you the skinny on the whole J and Situation!


Friday, September 29, 2006

You Slept Where?!?

The following are some of the worlds strangest hotels!

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Ariau Towers Hotel


Not for the acrophobic, this hotel lets you sleep in the treetops of the Amazon Rainforest. "Tarzan's house," for example, is perched on stilts, 80 feet above ground. Situated on the bank of the Negro River, Ariau's apartments, suites and tree houses are linked by a series of catwalks. Rates start at $280 per night and include meals and tours.

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Qingdao, China

Scheduled to open in 2009, the Hydropalace in Qingdao, China, will be anchored in the Yellow Sea in water that is 16 to 20 meters deep at low tide. Guests will arrive at the hotel by yacht, which will also go to a planned land-based hydrotower, scheduled to open for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. Rates for suites are expected to be well above those for five-star properties. Regular rooms are to be priced in the range of other five-star properties.

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Ice Hotel

Quebec, Canada

The Ice Hotel is created anew each year out of 15,000 pounds of snow and 500 pounds of ice. The 34-room hotel features an ice chapel, two art galleries and a host of outdoor activities. The temperature inside the hotel ranges from 23 to 28 degrees Fahrenheit and the beds are carved from ice. Happily, the bathrooms are not--the heated facilities are in the adjacent hotel. The hotel is open from January to April, with rates starting at about $175 per night.

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Jules Undersea Lodge

Key Largo, Fla.

This former research lab is located underwater in a tropical mangrove habitat, and guests must scuba dive 21 feet to get to the main lobby. It can accommodate up to six guests, and each air-conditioned room features a 42-inch window in the water. The dining room has custom mermaid and "mer-man" tables. Our only question: Where's the pool? Rates range from $250 to $395 per night.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Just more stuff..

Boy I love my interesting titles these days, don't you? Well again nothing to really post about, but I figured I'd better post something :P

Last night I layed on my bed at a little bit before 6pm and fell asleep around 7:30 the dogs starting barking the ever living heads off and I woke up. Sad part is, I didn't know I was asleep! I got up rummaged through the house let the dogs out and then went back to bed around 8pm and slept until 5:30 this morning, which was when I was all the sudden "wide awake".

I got a cut off notice for my electric, a whole day before they were to shut it off. Geee what a notice. Yup, this chickie forgot to pay her bill, I'm beginning to become famous for that. NOt that I didn't have the money for the bill, I did, just that I forgot. But you would think they would give you some more time other than 1 day! Pfftt..o'well I turned the money in today before work, and mailed off my 3 netflix movies, in hopes to get new ones for the weekend.

I was driving down to the City Hall (to pay my forgotten electric bill) and the sunrise this morning was so beautiful! It was a rosey pink and the clouds were outlined in lavendar (my favorite color by the way). It was such a peacefull morning. I think I'm gonna start getting up early in the mornings and walking the pups to enjoy such beautiful sunrises!!!

I have 10 more minutes left until lunch, my lunches moved up an hour, I'm not hungry at 11 in the morning, lol. But you gotta do what you gotta do. I have to pee something fierce, and I can't until lunch. LOL..I KNOW you just wanted to know that! Other than what I have posted there is nothing much more to post right now at this moment. I am so boring these days.

***While writing this post I killed 2 spiders that somehow got under my purse...can we say YUCKIE!!!!***

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Just stuff..

So, well, I really don't have much to blog about. The J situation is going slower than a snail on speed, so nothing new there.

I have been trying out new TV shows these past couple of weeks. I'm not really into watching new stuff, but all my other shows have been cancelled or they have done 10 years of the same story line that they went off air :(

I really like "The Class" it's funny and cute ! Just around my mentality rate, lol. I tried "Heroes" last night, for the first episode ever I thought it was good, although I'm lost...and Well being lost in this kind of show is not good, lol. I watched the season opener of ER last week, and the way they ended again i was like "oh hell no!" damn them ER bastards! I also started watching America's Next Top Model, there was a chic from Derby, Ks on there, she didn't make it to the 13 that are running for the damn "i'm hot" crown. But non-the-less I liked the show. I like Tyra Banks the best, forget all them ditzy modeling peeps! LOL. I started watching Deal or no Deal, I want to go on that some day! I wouldn't even push the envelope banker offers me anything over 30,000 i'm done, and going home. That's enough to pay off bills and put down on a house :)

I started watching Desperate Housewives (reruns) every saturday on Lifetime, this show dragged me into...and I screamed the whole way, now i'm stuck!

So...other than that, that is all I have to post....envy me yet?!? Thought so!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Texas Chainsaw : The Beginning

I'm so there!!!! 10/06/06!!!! (Anybody want to go with me?!?! I'm going to bville to watch it (bville is bartlesville oklahoma...) because their theatre is the best and closest one around!

Get this video and more at

Weekend Wrap up

Friday Night - I pull up into my drive way and my dad is out in my yard with his weed eater just waking away on the tall ass grass I have accumalated these past coupld of months ( landlords man isn't doing his job, so my 70 year old father has to do it...not right I don't think), and my mother was parked by the curb. I was like hmm...wonder why they are here...I get out of the truck and my mom is already up by my passenger side door (she's freaking fast!). She had a bowl of food in her hand (THANK GOD I HAVE NOTHING TO EAT!!). And she said "Lets go upstairs and put this in your refridgerator"...I just looked at her and said " house is a complete disaster area (I have neglected cleaning for a long time (maybe a week or so) and I was embarrased for her to go in). She said "Well lets go inside anyways." I shrugged my shoulders and said "Okay follow me into the apartement from hell." I opened my door and the first thing I saw was the tub of laundry not there...I knew she had cleaned the apartment just by opening my door. I turned around and stated "You cleaned my house!" And I looked around in awe. She said yes, and I followed her back to my bedroom, and there was this new queen sized bed in it. I said "is that mine?" and she said (the comedian she is) "No it's ours we just though You would like to see it before we take it to our house. Of course it's yours!" I was like OMG! I had a new bed!!! Then she said "lets go to the garage." So I followed her to the garage and I opened it up and there was sitting a brand new washer and dryer!! I flipped, i normally never flipp out but i did. YOu know i was spending over a 100 dolalrs a month at the laundry mat!?!? This would so be worth it. I thanked my mom and dad and they left. Friday night I did 2 loads of laundry in my new washer and dryer (clothes taht were already clean just because I could!).

Saturday - Nothing much to say did another load of laundry (EHEHE) and I slept like a freaking baby on my new bed...i didn't want to get out of it!!! Saturday night went to a going away party/dinner at a bar and grill for one of our employees at work it was fun!!!

Sunday - DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! I had a headache most of the day, I did got J's house, but he as Rachel would say had Male PMS and I wasn't about to stay there while he was grumpy!! So i left and went home, took some migraine medicine and went to sleep, at 4 in the afternoon, yeah I know EARLIER. I left the windows in my room open and well it was 45 degrees this morning in my room FREAKING CALLL MAN!!!

Monday morning - I got to ride behind a pick up truck that had 2 sheep in the back and their rear ends were facing me, it was a sight I'm telling ya. I think he was taking them to get butchered, I almost started crying. I'm not against killing for food, but it doesn't mean I don't get soft hearted when I think about it.

Well IN GOOD NEWS Miss LA at work quit friday!!! WOOHOO FREAKING PARTY CENTRAL MAN!!!!

You all have a nice Crappy Monday (all mondays are crappy!!).

"Check Ya later!"

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Happy "27th" Birthday Rach!

Today is my 'big sisters'
  • Rachels Diary
  • birthday. Happy birthday girl!!! Keep it real!!

    myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

    Just being silly...

    Your Linguistic Profile:
    70% General American English
    10% Dixie
    5% Midwestern
    5% Upper Midwestern
    5% Yankee

    Your Aura is Blue

    Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.
    You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.

    The purpose of your life: showing love to other people

    Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

    Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

    You Have Fantastic Karma

    You are a kind, sensitive, and giving person.
    And all your good deeds will pay off - if they haven't already.
    But you're not so concerned with what you get in return anyway.
    You have an innate caring nature - and nothing can change that!

    Thursday, September 21, 2006


    No, I'm not a train, but thanks for thinking that I'm that big (EHEHEHEHE). Well, something happened tonight, something good. Something that I didn't think would ever happen. Um....J and I are getting back together...Yup you heard me we are getting back together. We actually sat down tonight and talked, over at his house, not mine. His house was actually CLEAN i almost had a stroke!!! It was clean, nothing lieing around on the floor, no cups or pop cans or plates anywhere! I was amazed!!!

    So we talked and um other stuff, but I won't get into that. When I got back home I messaged him stating "what was tonight? So I'm clear about everything and don't get the wrong asumption?" He said "I think it was us getting back together." and then earlier he said this "It wasn't just you that was a fault with what happened, there were two people." My jaw dropped to the floor! OH MY FREAKING GOD!!! What the hell happened to him? Was he struck in the head??? I don't know...but all I can say is that we are back together. Which does make me happy! And he's like a different person, woot woot!!!

    That's all ER is about on. Leave me your comments :) I'm in the BEST MOOD EVA!!!

    My "real" blonde roots

    this is for rachel :)

    Random Susan Moments...

    Okay, lets see what I have in store for all of you lovely people today? Hmmm...again hmmmm....okay....sigh....hmmm....I think my brain just farted...yeah, you really wanted to know that huh?!? LOL GO ME Go ME. Yes, I have totally lost my mind, if you find it can you please give it back? I don't think you want it, it's not worth much...maybe a few brain cells left in there but that's all :P

    Ahhh, Yes, now I i don't...CRAPOLA!!!

    *Sits here and stews over what the hell she was going to type*.....

    I guess i'll need to rethink this and get back with you.


    Wednesday, September 20, 2006

    Haunted Houses

    Okay I went to my girls Barngoddess web page and did that past life's what mine said, which to me is not that far fetched!

    I do not know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
    You were born somewhere around territory of modern New Guinea approximately on 1050.
    Your profession was medic, surgeon, herbalist.
    Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
    You had mind of a scientist, always seeking new explanations. Environment often misunderstood him, but respected his knowledge.
    Lesson, that your last past life brought to present:
    Your lesson -- to study, to practice and to use wisdom, enclosed in psychological sciences, and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in present life.
    Now you remember?

    Okay so I went to that page on Barngoddess blog and was really totally freaked out with the music....I about wet my pants!

    I was a freshman in college and only 18 years old, G and I were still engaged and all was honky dory with that, we participated in a haunted house...he was a werewolf and I was a bloody girl who got chased through the unexpecting audience of people by a chainsaw maniac, I was the only girl who lived in my group..hehe, (one night I played a girl chained to wall awaiting her execution.)

    On our last night I followed our last group of people out, scary the beejesus out of them, it was great! I started walking back towards the front of the building, the whole entire time the Theme to Holloween was playing as loudly as it could (it was a maze and that was the song that played over and over and over in that room, we had a total of 10 rooms plus a maze at the end it was awesome!). I was trying to weed my way through the ceiling to floor maze that was lined with black trash bag type material. I felt something in front of me, thinking it was G looking for me I said "Hey you, are you trying to scare me? Well it's not gonna work, I'm scareless, don't forget I know everyone in here." Then i felt someone tap me on the shoulder, I turned around, but of course I couldn't see anything, it was pitch black. "okay this is NOT funny! Let me through damnit" I said. Then all the sudden this light (flashlight) came on and in front of me was Michael Myers looking at me with his head tilted, you know the way he does it in the movies, I screamed my f'in head off. I turned around forgetting about the "someone" behind me and bumped into them, then another light (another flashlight) came on and this one was Freddy Krugar and he was flashing his knives for fingers at me. I screamed and dropped to the floor into a fetal position.

    I was crying and saying "Please go away please go away...please go're not real you're not real" then all the lights in the building came on and all my friends and the participants of the haunted house jumped out and said "GOTCHA YA!"

    Oh I was so flipping mad!!! But looking back I bet that was some seriously funny shit!

    See these two people Shannon ( a guy) and the cheerleading coach for the college had went to joplin and bought relistic masks they each cost over 100 bucks and man o man i sure the hell felt like I was in Hallowee/Nightmare! I will never to this day ever forget that!

    I always to this day get followed by a Michael Myers if there is one at a haunted house, and somehow they all know that Michael really wigs my crap out!

    That is my story, and I have many of those moments if anyone ever wants to hear them !! I'm a wimp in haunted houses!! LOL....

    What is love?

    I go the following off my mail on myspace, the last one made me tear up...and you all know me, nothing makes me tear up!!! My cold heart must be thawing!!!

    What does Love mean?

    A group of professional people posed this question to a group of
    4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

    The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could
    have imagined. See what you think:
    "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and
    paint her toenails anymore.

    So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his
    hands got arthritis too. That's love."

    Rebecca- age 8
    "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
    You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

    Billy - age 4
    "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a
    boy puts on shaving
    cologne and they go out and smell each other."

    Karl - age 5
    "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
    French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

    Chrissy - age 6
    "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

    Terri - age 4
    "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a
    sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste
    is OK."

    Danny - age 7


    "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
    kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
    My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they

    Emily - age 8


    "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
    opening presents and listen."

    Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)


    "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a
    friend who you hate,"

    Nikka - age 6
    (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)


    "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears
    it everyday."

    Noelle - age 7


    "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
    still friends even after they know each other so well."

    Tommy - age 6


    "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
    looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and

    He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

    Cindy - age 8


    "My mommy loves me more than anybody .

    You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

    Clare - age 6


    "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of

    Elaine-age 5


    "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says
    he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

    Chris - age 7


    "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
    alone all day."

    Mary Ann - age 4


    "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
    old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

    Lauren - age 4


    "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
    little stars come out of you." (what an image)

    Karen - age 7


    "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
    think it's gross."

    Mark - age 6


    "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But
    if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

    Jessica - age 8


    And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
    talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

    The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

    The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor
    was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

    Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
    gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

    When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the
    little boy said,

    "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

    New Template...

    I had to switch the template b/c of the other one giving me so much grief...GRRRR....

    Fall...Leaves...10 lbs

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingSo it's fall and the leaves are coming down off the tree's, which is nothing new they've been doing that since late july, because of the extremem heat and no rain, but they are changing colors YIPPEE!!! I love fall. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love it most when the smell outside changes, kinda like a bon fire smell, I guess that would be when peoples chimney's are going, lol, i'm a nerd. We have this path in our town that you can walk on and it is in this big wooded area, it's creepy but so beuatiful at the same time. I will most deffianlty be going there once the trees really do start chaning colors, and this time I will not sprain my ankle like I did last year, and almost crack my head open. Jade's first birthday is comeing up in a couple of weeks, she gets to have a big bone just for her, for her birthday. I even got her a doggy tee that sayd "Puppy's first birthday" at the PetSmart, yes I'm that OBSSESSED about my dogs.

    In other not so good news, how the hell did i gain 10 pounds in 1 week?!?!? Is that even freaking possible!?!?! GRRRRRRR.....

    Tuesday, September 19, 2006

    What I would buy with 1 million dollars!

  • My dream home!
  • Monday, September 18, 2006


    Well, here I am at work, yeah for me! It's pretty slow today (watch I say that it will stary picking up), and right now I'm on lunch. Just had a roast beef w/cheddar cheese and mayo on a wheat hoagie,and some funyuns. God, i haven't had funyuns in years! I'm forcing myself to eat it...because of the fact I have another tooth ache and Know that I need to keep somethign in my tummy. The dentist will call in a script for antibotics for my tooth today..YEAH, more money spent that I don't have!

    I want to say thank you for all of you SO sweet comments! They were truly nice to read, thank you so much! I don't know about that making money comment, still trying to decide where the heck that came from!

    I also want to thank my Chica Laura, she came over yesterday. She said this "Get off your butt get dressed I'm taking you out to eat." and I looked up at her and said "i already ate :( " so I went with her and I had a diet pepsi and she had her grilled stuff burrito :) Then we went to macdonalds and I had an Ice Cream cone and she had a small Chocolate milk shake, then we went back to my apartmenet and watched "Center Stage" a movie that we both seen like 100 million times, but we still watched it, I did the dishes because I had to do them or they would get done. I still have pots to do. SHe left at 5pm, and then I layed down and took a nap, and then watched Poseidon, which was and EXCELLENT movie.

    I'm not in better spirits, I can't turned my moods off and on like a switch, this is something I'm gonna have to work on, or at least get chemical help for, don't know which one I'm gonna do.

    But thank you all again for the lovely thoughts and comments, and I'm so sorry I'm such a bummer!

    Saturday, September 16, 2006


    Okay, as I stated yesterday I was supposed to hang out with J today, or tonight. It didn't happen. No, I didn't break off the "hangingout" engagement, he did. I got this story stating that he had to work a full shift last night, and he would be to tired to hang out today. Well I see on his Yahoo messenger that his been idle for 4 doesn't seem like tired to me. I don't know why I ever asked him to hang out. It's never going to work out between us, so why do I even bother? Why do I even bother asking anyone to hang out, they never want to. I feel like I'm the "black plague" and everyone is trying to get away from me. This feeling really hasn't just popped up, it's been like this for most of my life since I passed the elementary age. With the exception of Laura, and Diana (but unfortunately I can't hang out with her she's 28 hrs away), I really don't have much friends.

    Laura has always been there for me, whenever I needed a friend, or a sister, or a shoulder to cry on. I am so thankful for that. My funk really started the beginning of the 8th grade with my soul sister moved, which would be Diana. I know the transition was hard for her as well. We missed each other something terribly. It's hard when the person you hung out with everyday since the 1st grade has to move so terribly far away.

    I remember the day she moved, just like it was yesterday. My mom drove me over to her house to say our goodbyes. Oh what a tearful one it was, we weren't the only 2 crying. We sobbed and hugged each other like there was no tomorrow. I gave her a christmas tree watch, and I had one too. Her mom started crying my mom started crying, and they really didn't know each other. But it was like they were loosing a second daughter for the both of them. I mean Diana and I didn't really spend 1 day apart from each other, yes, we had our fights, and quarrels, but we really did make up like friends do. She moved that night. I was alone. I had Laura then too, but she lived out in the country and I just couldn't go out there and see here when I wanted, so basically I was alone. I don't know if Laura remembers the funk that I was in following the departure of Diana, but like I said I do. One day I had something really exciting to call Diana about, I don't remember now what it was, but, in my thirteen year old mind it was something MAJOR. One to really never talk on the phone (still not) I picked up the phone and dialed her number, not thinking, some how I really thought that she would pick up the phone. All I got was the disconnected number message. I sat there in my room crying, I cried forever that night.

    On the weekends I would go out into the backyard and sit on the swing and read. I read alot that fall and winter, more than I really ever did. My mom now tells me that she used to watch me out the kitchen window and not knowing what to do for me. That was the first time I experienced depression. I was this way for the first 6 months after Diana moved. I know she went through the same, she has told me. High school was a little better I did hang out with Laura, not every day, except in school. But then I picked up with the "wrong" crowd, I tried so hard to stay close to everyone, but one crowd was not excepting to the other. It was kinda difficult. Then the summer before my Sophmore year Laura moved. Not far only 14 miles from town, but that entailed her to have to go to a new school, and there I was again, at a loss. 14 miles isn't far, but it is when you can't drive it yourself, and have to rely on your parents to drive you there, and I only got to see Laura every so often. It was hard, Like I said Laura was there for me whenever I needed her, and with her so far away (a whole 14 miles) I didn't know what to do.

    Then I got a car, my permit, then my license, switched schools, because all my "wrong' friends were pregnant, and somehow my mom thought that if I drank after them I would become pregnant too. So I went to the same school Laura went to. Oh those were the days. I had friends, I hung out, I got my first real boyfriend, whom I dated for 5 years, he was truly my first love, not anymore, lol, I'm over So life was grand.

    Laura got married out of high school, and I didn't see her much anymore :( But I had G (my man at the time), and we were inseperateable...we did everything together and were together almost 24/7. I didn't see home very much through those years, I hardly spoke to my mother, and when i did we would have full out yelling matches. Then G took this girl to a concert, my favorite band, which he mysteriously "forgot" to buy me a ticket. Then I found out he too her, and Yes I knew who "her" was. I got so mad, I went to his work place waited outside by his car and then when I got into his car i just blurted out "do you want to date her?" the look he gave me was priceless, lol. It was that "oh shit" look. He said that he didn't want to date her, I yelled and I cried, (i really never cried infront of him, I don't cry in front of a lot of people). I said "okay fine, lets just forget about this, and move one from here." he said 'okay" and that was that. So, I thought. The next day I couldn't get ahold of him, I finally just left a voicemail on his machine to come by Staples (where I worked at the time) after 8pm which was when I was to get off work. He did, that's when my life again fell to pieces. I yelled and I screamed again in the middle of staples parking lot. All he did was sit in his brand new mustang and smoke one cigeratte after another not saying a word. I asked him "Do you want to date her?" again, and this time he looked up at me, not with the 'oh shit' look but the look that all girls know as "yes", and said "I don't know what I want right now."

    I couldn't believe my ears, what?!?! Which is what i said (lol). "So you are saying that you are going to through this almost 5 year relationship down the tubes (we had a date set for the wedding, go figure it was May 26th, the same date I had on my invitations for this last wedding, when I get married finally, It will be no where NEAR the month of MAY!!) for a jolly with her?" I asked he looked at me and didn't say anything, which gets on my nerves still to this day, say something you TWIT. "This is because I got fat isn't it?' i asked, he said "no, i'm not like that and you know it." and i came back with "well you are dumping your "pig of a girlfriend" for "miss twig", so what am I supposed to think?" that was that, his last words to me were this "please don't do anything to yourself." and left.. WHAT?!?! I'm not a guy, i don't go "if you break up with me I'm gonna kill myself." I was so upset and distrout.

    I remember walking through the door to the pool room in Laura's my and stepdad's house. I remember her stepbrother saying "hi susan." and her Step dad saying something but don't remember what. I'm sure I said "high" back I don't remember. I just walked through the pool room into the dinning room and into the living room. Laura said "SUSIE'" She was so excited that I was there, but then she saw the tears in my eyes, and she got up off the couch and I said "we broke up" . I don't remember much after that, i was in a fog. I remember I stayed in my pajama's for 3 days straight, and didn't go to work, stayed in bed for the 3 whole days. I told my mom I was sick, but she knew better. She finally broke down and came in and asked me what was wrong. I started crying again, which was what I was doing for 3 days, but alone. It was like a movie, she sat on my bed and I grabbed her, which I think she was surprised, we didn't get along well at this time. And I just cried and cried, and stated "i don't know what to do with my life now mom. He was my life" She and Laura were there for me through that.

    Then there was the part my mom didn't know about. I was late, yes that late, Laura knew. It wasn't unusal for me to be late, but this was a different kind of "late". I've had those "late" spells about probably 5 times in my life. Laura knew about this, because I remember the last date of what would of made me "late" happening, and this wasn't right. I was extremely "late". I never did go get a test I didn't want to know. I mean um, what was I gonna tell him. The girl he dumped me for died 3 days later in a car accident, and we hadn't talked. So what would I say or do, if i was "late" for a reason then was I supposed to go and call him and say "I'm late" that didn't seem like the something to do. So I didn't do anything but sit at Laura's house and worrie. I was late for i don't remember how long, I don't know if Laura remembers how long either. But it seemed like an eternity, it wasn't the few days or a week "late" it was longer. I remember that Thanksgiving passed (we broke up in late october) and still no since of that special monthly time for me. I think it was shortly after my birthday (which is in december) that it finally came. It was the most painful period i have had in my whole entire life, and I have some extreme period problems (spare you the details). I don't know if it was just because it was so long for me to get it, or if it was actually something else entirely differently. But that as I stated was most painful period I have ever had.

    But Laura was there for me, and I was there for her when she and her ex was going through hard times, but I don't think I was very much help. I can't seem to handle other peoples emotional problems as a friend should.

    This is a very long post and I'm sorry, and no, I'm not done yet.

    I was late again this summer, the same kind of late. I really thought I was pregnant, I would of been J's, we did and "oops" type 2 times. I again didn't get a test, but this time it wasn't because "i didn't want to know" it was because if it said no i wasn't that would of been way to painful. I was 1 1/2 weeks late this time finally I broke down and got a test, I took it it was negative. But again I still didn't think that was right. I had all the signs of pregnancy or what I thought at the time as that. So I took the test again (it had 2) and it still said no, and I was so bummed out. The next day I started. I was 2 weeks late, but this period was just that, nothing unusual with this one. I was crushed on this one. I deep down wanted that "baby" even if there wasn't one. Laura knows this too, in a way it was good not to be, I am not finacial stable or emotionally stable at this time to have a little one.

    I have always stated that I don't want children. Well, that is beginning to change, I do want children. I want to expeirence the whole pregnancy, the morning sickness, ALL of it. I don't know...

    I know this was A LOT of stuff to jumble up into one post...I guess what I'm trying to get at is this...I'm going down that rode to where all I want to do is sleep. I have no desire to even eat, I force myself to do that, that has been for about the last 3 days. I wasn't like this in the beginning of the week, I was starving the beginning of the week, but since Wendesday evening, I just have no desire to eat, I sleep all the time, but really not sleep, it's that restless kind of sleep. Every dream I have is of me having this "baby" that I know I probably won't ever have. Because in order to get that "one" man for the rest of my life, i have to social, and I'm just not the "social butterfly" as I really wish I was. I'm not happy with the way I looke, i'm fat, and I'm ugly. That's the way I feel. I don't know. Maybe being a woman in her almost late twenties (god, I'm almost in my late 20's only 2 more months and I'm there, how depressing) not in a relationship, no money, no insurance, a job that pretty much is going no where, and one that I may not have after the new year (long story on that too), I can't afford to move, I'm totaly beyong broke. I have 1 dollar, and it is only 3 days after payday. I have no food in my house other than a couple cans of soup, and some romain noodles, and dog food. SO right now my life pretty much sucks ass.

    WIth that said I think I'm gonna go to sleep now, and I think i'm gonna sleep all day tomorrow. Since that is what I've been doing most of the last 3 days to begin with (no I didn't no get my list done, I have only done 1 thing on that list which is laundry, because of the fact I would of had nothing to wear on monday for sucky ass work). I really need to do the dishes...I don't want to. I do need to sweep dust and shampoo my carpets, I don't want to do that either. Bed just seems to overcome all that. See this is the path I didn't want to go down...and I am on it, and you know I really don't want to get off it right now.

    Well now that I have had my monthly Pitty Party I'm going to bed!

    Friday, September 15, 2006

    Just stuff..

    Well i'm off today *Does the HAPPY SNOOPY DANCE* (thanks Felinefrisky!! I love it) i have several tasks that will need to be done today.

    1. Wash the mountain of dishes that seemed to appear in my sink over night. GRRR.
    2. Totally clean the apartment top to bottom and spray one more time for icky spiders.
    3. Shampoo the carpets.
    4. Watch my 3 limited editions Star Wars movies I bought last night (i'm a nerd)
    5. Take pups to vet to get their shots..YUCKIE
    6. Pay my enormous electric bill...GRRR
    7. DO laundry
    8. Find something to wear for tomorrow and figure out how i'm gonna fix my hair...yippee!!
    9. Take a nap (lol)
    10. Go to the town I work in for a high school football game, one of my coworkers little girl with be dancing with the stinkin cute!

    Yes, I am gonna DO Everything on my I really don't have a day "off" blah!

    In other news!

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    In this photo released by the Mesa Police Department, Heather Kane is shown. Kane, 22, was arrested Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2006, and booked for investigation of conspiracy to commit murder, Mesa Detective Jerry Gissel said. Kane was arrested after she met with what turned out to be an undercover Mesa police detective at a grocery store. Court records show she gave the officer $400 and offered to pay an additional $100 once a woman who appeared on her boyfriend's Web page was killed, police said. (AP Photo/Mesa Police Department) Email Photo Print Photo.

    All I have to say is that she is retarded! And for to really think that she was going to hire someone for 500.00 to kill someone just proves my point that she is retarded!

    Wednesday, September 13, 2006

    Mid life crisis?!?!

    I was over at Barngoddess page and she posted about a mid life crisis...well i had originally posted this over on my myspace page...and I thought that I would share with the rest of you of this...Barngoddess, you are not alone!

    Sunday, September 10, 2006

    ?!? Mid-Life Crisis?!?
    Current mood: contemplative
    Category: Life

    So, as my title states, I'm having a Mid-Life crisis, and um..I'm not even in my mid life yet. This sucks big time.

    I all the sudden just want to up and leave the 'Ville (this would be bad?!?!) and move to Washington state, because 1. it is a beautiful state, and 2. my bestest friend in the whole world (besides laura, who doesn't even think to get a myspace well infact neither does Diana, pfftt...on you bitches!! LOL)Diana, lives there. I miss her something terrible.

    So, I discuss this with my parents last weekend over the holiday (it wasn't much of a holiday...although I did get a 3 day weekend, woohoo!). The response I got out of my mother was not the one I was expecting, and bracing myself for. I was expecting, the whole 9 yards, you know that whys and shouldn'ts of going. But, instead, I got this, "Well, that's a awful long ways away, you know your dad and I won't ever make it up there, but if you think you can handle coming back only 1 or 2 times a year, go for it." *hmmm Scratching my head* This IS NOT MY MOTHER...I almost looked at her and asked "Um...where did the Mother I grew up with go?" But I didn't want to ruin a good thing, lol.

    So, now I'm sitting here in my little ass apartment thinking, how in the hell am I going to to pull this off? You see when I went away to college, mind you it was only 2 1/2 hours away, I couldn't even stay the whole week I had to come home on the weekends, not because I missed the fam, so much, well yes, what can I say it was because I missed the fam...I'm so TOTALLY a family person!! I'm wierd, I can't do anything on my I'm 26 almost 27, this is really sad, I really need to get a life.

    K, back to my mid-life crisis. I want to totally change my looks, like hair, weight ect. Well who doesn't? You may ask, good question you. But this is NOT me, any one of my friends and co-workers (who are my friends , luv ya girlies! they all are on my friends list, lol) know this isn't me. I don't just "do things to do them" but um...I am about to totally change the way I look, well at least hair wise, I can't loos 75 pounds over night, damn I'd be rich if I could find out away though!

    I'm not like gonna move tomorrow or anything, that is something you have to have MONEY for, and that is something I'm lacking...damnit! I can't seem to save a penny, it sucks. I like get my pay check, and BAM, it's gone in 2 days. Damn bills, I HATE EM. Anyways, I will eventually do this transition to a new state across the country, move 28 hours away, but right now I just can't. It's seeing everyone doing what they really want to do, kinda gets to me, I need to be that person who can "do something just to do it" instead of being the person who always takes the "safe route". I'm so lame sometimes, I say "live life, and have fun while you can" but yet, I don't do it myself. GRRRRR....maybe I just need to get up and move....


    Interesting title huh?!?! Well I couldn't think up a better one, sorry! I'm having one of my "blonde" days today.

    SO J and I are gonna "hang out" on saturday, we have not a clue as to what we are gonna do. I don't know if this will be anything other than 2 people who used to date, just hanging out to hang

    Sorry I really haven't "posted" in the last week or so. There really isn't much going on, I'm still trying to overcome my recent bout with the stomach flu, which I don't know if it actually was or not.

    I haven't slept well the last couple of's was FREEZING in my house last night!! GOOD GAWD!! I may have Friday off YIPEE. Other than that no new news...phooey!!!

    TAH TAH FOR NOW!!! Oh I took of the Adopt an egg off the side bar, i got a dud it didn't hatch...damnit!

    Tuesday, September 12, 2006

    My cubicle (the video)

    i know i posted the song already once but i found the video :) it's so freaking funny!


    Monday, September 11, 2006

    Whoa, Nelly!

    I just got pulled into an meeting with the vice president, the floor supervisor, provision supervisor, and the technical engineror (hmm..thinking that is not a word) see our engineer is leaving on Sept 29th for better and bigger things!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM!! They pulled me to see if I would like to become the provisioning supervisors back up, WHOA NELLY! HOW FREAKING SWEET!!! This means that when we aren't busy I'll actually have something to do!!! SWEET!!! I will put in new orders, changes and stuff like that SWEET AGAIN!!! Well I don't think there will a pay raise with this, but who cares, I've moved up 1/2 step wooohooo!!! Back off to work I go high hoe high hoe

    TAH TAH for now!

    We Will Not Forget!

    God bless everyone today, especially the ones lost on this tragic day 5 years ago, and their loved ones.

    This is for you!

    If tomorrow all the things were gone
    I'd worked for all my life,
    And I had to start again
    with just my children and my wife,
    I'd thank my lucky stars
    to be living here today,
    'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
    and they can't take that away.

    I'm proud to be an American
    where at least I know I'm free,
    And I won't forget the men who died
    who gave that right to me,
    And I gladly stand up next to you
    and defend her still today,
    'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
    God Bless the U.S.A.

    From the lakes of Minnesota
    to the hills of Tennessee,
    Across the plains of Texas
    from sea to shining sea.
    From Detroit down to Houston
    and New York to L.A.,
    There's pride in every American heart
    and it's time we stand and say:

    I'm proud to be an American
    where at least I know I'm free,
    And I won't forget the men who died
    who gave that right to me,
    And I gladly stand up next to you
    and defend her still today,
    'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
    God Bless the U.S.A.

    I'm proud to be an American
    where at least I know I'm free,
    And I won't forget the men who died
    who gave that right to me,
    And I gladly stand up next to you
    and defend her still today,
    'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
    God Bless the U.S.A

    Sunday, September 10, 2006

    What a weekend

    Well it's Sunday, and we all know what is around the corner, ICKY MONDAY!!! This weekend for me has not been to eventful, if you call having your head in the toilet eventful, then are wierd! I had the stomach flu (i think), and I spent most of yesterday morning and afternoon in the bathroom, I was considering making a bed in the bathtub, I didn't though. Then I ran out of cigs and had to go to the gas station (running a 101 fever) to get cigs and 7up, when I got home I had the headache from hell, dehydration I believe, but not for sure.

    Today, I'm just so totally exhausted and weak, I can hold things down so that is good, I just had an apple, it was gross, I threw the rest out, I think they have gone bad, ICK.

    Other than that I have been up to absolutely nothing, right now I'm sweating my butt off because it's hotter than hadies in my house, i don't know why, it's not hot outside! And I'm not turning the air conditioning back on, lastmonths bill about gave me a heartattack!!!

    Well, this was a very uninteresting post, and I'm sorry for that, you all have a nice day and have a great ICKY MONDAY!

    Friday, September 08, 2006

    My horoscope

    Read the end of it!!! HMMM...I THINK IT'S TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING TO ME!!!

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingTwo powerful eclipses are likely to create meaningful changes in your life this month. The first is a Lunar Eclipse on September 7 in compassionate Pisces that indicates some surprises on the home front may be in store. The Moon falls in your 4th House of Roots and Family and conjuncts electric and unpredictable Uranus. Emotions may skyrocket with excitement and agitation. Restless feelings could provoke you to make sudden changes in your personal life. Members of your household may behave erratically. But this eclipse will activate breakthroughs in awareness and create a sudden awakening to new needs, desire, and possibilities that might eventually lead to a change of location or career.

    On September 22 a Solar Eclipse squaring deep, dark Pluto casts a shadow in your 10th House of Profession and Public Responsibilities. Consider cleaning up your act in this area of your life, if needed. Any secrets that you've buried could work their way to the surface. It might be hard to avoid a power struggle if you're dealing with someone who doesn't treat you fairly. There is an opportunity for you to reassert your authority now and claim more control over your public life. If you've been taking on more than your fair share of the burden, consider cutting back on your workload.

    Thursday, September 07, 2006

    I did not die in the tub

    Well i'm still alive :) But it sure was hard to get up this morning!!! I'm sorry I haven't visted your blogs these past couple of days, there for a while I didn't even want to turn the computer on, lol...I don't know why, but I'm making my rounds tonight :) SO BEWARE The CHIC is coming to you!!! LOL (k, i'm wierd!)

    Wednesday, September 06, 2006


    EXCUSE ME!!! How rude!! Sorry, you will have to excuse my drank a$$. LOL. I know you aren't supposed to drink by yourself, but you when you have no friends that live near you, you compromise!! Chat with them online while drinking, is that considered alone? NOPE, not to me. (it took me 5 minutes to type that all right!!!)

    TOO MUCH Captain morgan parott bay and pineapple juice for this chickadee!! Not to mention lack of sleep for the past 2 nights...or food, for that matter. What's up with me these days, don't sleep don't eat, just sit here and stare at the the flowers on my walpaper are like really sprouting and gonna grow or something?!? LOL. i dunno...i'm in a funk, yes, again! But I'm a drunk funk (ummm OKAY) right now :) IT"S ALL GOOD!!! I'm goofy when I drink, no, really I am. Can't you tell? No really!! I AM!!! Ask anyone!?!? Okay, you got me I'm not goofy...damn, thought I fooled you for a sec!!!

    Well it's off to the tub, hope i don't drown, and then off to bed since I feel LIKE SLEEPING NOW!! You all have a nice evening...!!!!

    12 Questions and Answers About Me

    I borrowed this from Redneckgirl :) Hope she doesn't mind!

    1) If you could change your name, would you? If so, to what?
    I don't know hat I would like my name to be, my name has grown on me more, but I hated it when I was younger! But anything beats what my birthname was!!! EWWWIE!!

    2) What is one thing you'd change about yourself if you could?
    Hmmm...this is a difficult question to answer, I guess it would be better money management skills.

    3) What's one thing you wouldn't change about yourself?
    I always try to help friends and family that are in need (hint that's why I have no money!)

    4) What's the best decision you ever made in your life?
    To move out of my parents house (another reason I have no money!) and not getting married this past May.

    5) If you could have dinner with 5 people (living or dead) who would they be?
    My Grandmother
    My Grandfather
    Ryan Reynolds
    Brook Shields
    Ronald Reagan

    6) What's one thing you HAVE to do before you die?
    Go to Disneyworld!

    7) What's the best vacation you ever took?
    Went to Washington state to see my gal Diana!

    8) What's the best advice your mom ever gave you?
    Never depend on anyone to take care of (men or friends or family), and always wear a clean pair of underwear, lol.

    9) What is your biggest phobia?

    10) Who is the hottest (as in sexy) actor in Hollywood?
    Guys.....Ryan Reynolds or Scott Speedman
    Gals.......Kate Beckinsale (i think i spelt her name wrong!)

    11) For $100 would you pull the wings off of a butterfly?
    NO!!!! My nick is butterflychic26, I would not injure a poor butterfly!

    12) Do you have a living will or would you sign one?
    I do not have a legal living will, but I did write down what I wish to be down just in case something does happen to's in an envelope in my apartment on the TV entertainment center, right where anyone can see it. I keep it there for this reason!

    Baby Suri

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    click below to read part of the article (i have no money but somehow I'm gonna pull it out of my butt to go get this magazine, lol).
  • Saturday, September 02, 2006

    I actually cooked!!!

    I actually cooked today,and it was so yummie, course I'm really full right now and couldn't even eat the salad!!! I have the other half of the chicken for supper tonight, that was on big FREAKING chicken!!!!

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    Bored....oh so FREAKING BORED....

    Well it is 9:41 am on Saturday morning, and I have been up for 2 hours now, thanks to some 4 legged creature licking my face, because they just ABSOLUTELY wanted to go potty. So I drag my happy fat a$$ out of bed and take them outside, then go to the gas station to get some good ol` Coffee, it's pretty nasty right now, but I'll still drink it. Then went out to the little walking track that has 2 pounds in the middle of it, sat there drank my coffee, and scratched of my scratch tickets, and no, I did not win a DAMN thing!

    While I was out there, the Geese decided to come up close and personal with me while I was in the truck, so I took this opportunity to snap some photos of these creatures. I am now going to take my camera everywhere I go because I bought to take pictures of things, other than myself and my dogs, lol. The following pictures are of what I took this morning, I may eve upload the video later in the day.


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    This one was taken right before the Geese decided they were gonna attack that poor woman, she started running, and then they rethought their idea and went to the water!! It was so funny, coffee came out of my nose, funny.

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    Friday, September 01, 2006

    Plan B

    I'm a little behind in the past weeks news, I buy all the news papers every sunday with my laundry money (good use for it huh?!) I was reading an article in the USA Today paper from last weekend, and I'm still in the state of awe, confusion, and conflicted, on the whole issue.

    The Food and Drug Adminsitration announced Thursday that it will allow Plan B emergency contraception to be sold over the counter to anyone 18 and older but only by prescription to girls under 18, an age restriction that some observers call either unnecessary or easily circumvented.

    Plan B, approved as a prescription drug in 1999, contains a higher dose of hormone found in many birth control pills. It greatly reduces the risk of pregnancy iif taken within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse but is even more effective when taken sooner.

    In the 12 months ending Juney 30, approximately 1.5 million prescriptions were written for Plan B, which now costs $25 to $40. Plan B will be sold only at pharmacies and only when a pharmacist is on duty, kept behind the counter, so customers have to ask for it. FDA had plenty of evidence that Plan B is saft for girls 13 and up.
    - USA TODAY (This is just bits and pieces of the article)

    Okay my thoughts on this whole "Morning After Pill" that we all know it as, is this: I don't see why anyone should be allowed just to go into a pharmacy and ask for this drug, even if they are 18 or older. I have never considered myself as pro-choice or pro-life, to me it's whatever is best for the woman and her circumstances, to me I would always choice life, but that's not me, and this a debat that everyone can debate about until they are blue in the face, and still not get anywhere, that's why I normally stray far away from this topic as humanly possible.

    But I feel the urge to speak my mind on this topic, I don't know why exactly, I just do. I myself do not have children nor do I use anytype of birth control to preven myself from having any children, long story won't go into it. BUT I am a strong believer in that the "morning after pill" or as they are calling it "Plan B" should only be used under certain circumstances, such as : rape, or incestual relations (if that is a word, if not, then I came up with a pretty damn good word, lol).

    Birth control, abortion, or whatever is up to the woman and her partner themselves. They can choose whatever they want, I'm not going to look down on someone if they choose do not have a child or even put it up for adoption, it is not for me to judge. But the reason why the pill was ever invented that I know of is for the 2 circumstances I just mentioned above, rape, because no woman asks to be rape, and for her carry a production of that rape around inside of her for 9 months, is just asking her to do to much, only to put it up for adoption or even to raise it, knowing that it will bring her back the horrible memories of how this bein came into the world, of the monster who striped her of her innocense and self worth. Then of course a "possible" pregnancy from the production of incest, which in itself is "Rape". To me this is why the pill SHOULD ever be used.

    To be able to go in and get a Plan B contriceptive because we had a night of an "oops" or a night of "drunken stupidity" is unbelieveable in my eyes. Course I'm only blowing hot air, because even if they found out they were pregnant because of these stated circumstances, it doesn't stop them from terminating the pregnancy to begin with, BUT isn't the government making it to easy for more and more of these "oops" to be corrected? Does our government and Drug Admnistration not believe in discipline? I think that making this "PILL" acceptable to every woman is a big mistake, I believe you should still have to have a prescription for this "PILL" no matter your age, so at least you are under a careful eye of a doctor, and they know what is going on.




    Anne Frank

    For my first installment on The Most Intriguing People of the Century, I have picked one of my favorite history icons, Anne Frank.

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingFirst Publications: The first translations of the diary in American and British English, German, and French.

    As you all know Anne Frank made a big impact on everyone's lives with her Diary during WW2 and when the Nazi's were invading the Jews overseas. This diary was from the aspect of a 13 year old girl whose family was hiding in the attic behind her fathers grocery story, until one day an informant turned them in. Anne's father was the only one in the family that survived this terrible time in our history, and Anne passed away of of typhus at the age of 15 in 1945. He is the sole reason why her diary was published, he however edited some things out of her diary that he thought would not be appropriate for others to read. But in 1995a new translation of her diary was published in the U.S. which replete with the rebellious, coming-of-age musings of this young girl.

    The diary was first published in 1947, and it has sold more than 25 million copies in 55 languages. I have the original published from this time (not the original diary of coures, pfft, just one that was published in 1947) and the new translation that was published in 1995. They are really similar, but of course the newer one has more to it the the originally published one that her father had edited out. I have read this book several times in my life, each time it has impacted me differently, depending on my state of mind at the time reading it, but it has never failed to bring tears to my eyes each and everytime I read it. The most impacted word in the whole book is the questions "Why?". The girl who asked this question would be in her late 70's now, and perhaps an accomplished auther. Perhaps maybe an anonymous housewife tending to her tulips. Regardless, her precocious words had leapt off the page and left us an unforgetable, unfinished symphony of life.

    (I credit some of the above to Peoples: The Most Intriguing People of the Century, pg 53, and then some of the below from the official Anne Frank web page, that can be found here,
  • Anne Frank

  • Photobucket - Video and Image HostingBaby Anne: Edith Frank with Anne, a day after her birth.

    Jewish and German
    “My father, the most adorable father I've ever seen, didn't marry my mother until he was thirty-six and she was twenty-five. My sister Margot was born in Frankfurt am Main in Germany in 1926. I was born on June 12, 1929.”

    Anne Frank

    Annelies Marie Frank is born on June 12, 1929 in Frankfurt am Main, Germany. She is the second daughter of Otto Frank and Edith Frank-Holländer. Her sister Margot is then three years old. The family is Jewish and German. The Frank and Holländer families have lived in Germany for centuries.

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingStorm Troopers: "Brownshirts" marching through a German town.

    “I can remember that as early as 1932, groups of Storm Troopers came marching by singing: ‘When Jewish blood splatters from the knife.'"

    Otto Frank

    Anne’s father works at his family’s bank. Her mother takes care of everything at home. It is a carefree period for Margot and Anne. They have many friends in the neighbor-
    hood where they live. However, their parents are worried. Adolf Hitler and his party have made the Jews the scapegoat for all of Germany's social and economic problems. The
    anti-Semitism in the country grows.

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingEdith Frank and Her Daughters: This photo is taken in the center of Frankfurt am Main on March 10, 1933.
    It is the last photograh Otto Frank takes before the family leaves Germany.

    "The world around me collapsed. I had to face the consequences, and though this did hurt me deeply I realized that Germany was not the world and I left forever."

    Otto Frank

    At the beginning of 1933, the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (NSDAP or Nazi party) comes to power in Germany. Adolf Hitler, the leader of this party, becomes Chancellor. He is responsible for the new government. Before very long, there is discrimination against Jews. Germany changes from a democracy into a dictatorship. Anne’s parents no longer feel safe. Otto Frank’s bank is also in financial trouble because of the worldwide economic crisis. Otto and Edith Frank decide to leave Germany.

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingAnne and Margot, 1933: While their parents are busy arranging the family's emigration to Holland, Anne and Margot spend the summer of 1933 with Grandmother Holländer in Aachen.

    A New Start
    “In the Netherlands, after those experiences in Nazi Germany, it was as if our life was restored to us. In those days it was possible for us to start over and to feel free.”

    Otto Frank

    Otto Frank goes to the Netherlands in the summer of 1933. He has the opportunity to set up a company in Amsterdam that sells Opekta. This is a product used by housewives to prepare home-made jam. During that period, Anne and Margot stay with Grandmother Holländer who lives in Aachen Germany. Their mother commutes to and from Amsterdam to find the family a place to live there.

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingThe Frank Family,Margot, Otto, Anne and Edith Frank on Merwedeplein in Amsterdam, 1941.

    “After May 1940, the good times were few and
    far between: first there was the war, then the capitulation and then the arrival of the Germans, which is when the trouble started for the Jews.”

    Anne Frank

    The Frank Family feels free and safe, until the German Army invades the Netherlands on May 10, 1940. The Occupation of the Netherlands begins on May 15, 1940. The discrimination against the Jews begins then as well: Jews may not own their own businesses, Jewish children have to go to Jewish schools, all Jews have to wear a yellow star, and countless other restrictions. There are even rumors that the Jews will be packed off to Germany…

    DiaryOn June 12, 1942, Anne Frank celebrates her 13th birthday. She receives a diary as a present. It is her favorite gift. She begins writing in it immediately: “I hope I will be able to confide everything to you…and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.”

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingThe Call-Up: Jews, who are summoned, receive this document from the Central Office of Jewish Emigration: an exact list of what they are allowed to bring with them. It also indicates when they must depart.

    To the Hiding Place
    “I was stunned. A call-up, everyone knows what that means. Visions of concentration camps and lonely cells raced through my head.”

    Anne Frank

    The rumors that Jews must go to Germany are true. Just
    like thousands of other Jews living in Amsterdam, Margot Frank receives a call-up on July 5, 1942. The Nazis plan to send the people they have summoned to work camps in Germany. The entire family will be arrested if Margot does not report.

    Secret Hiding Place
    Her parents have expected such a call-up: the secret hiding place is almost ready. Not only for their own family, but also for the Van Pels family: Hermann and Auguste and their son Peter. Hermann van Pels is co-director of Otto Frank’s company. The next day, the Frank family immediately leaves for the hiding place. All of them carry bags filled with their things. Naturally, Anne brings her diary. Much later, she will look back and write: “My happy-go-lucky, carefree school days are gone forever.”

    Photobucket - Video and Image HostingOtto Frank: Otto Frank in 1979. He dies on August 19, 1980.

    "I am now almost ninety and my strength is slowly failing. Still, the task I received from Anne continues to restore my energy: to struggle for reconciliation and human rights throughout the world."

    Otto Frank

    Following the war, Otto Frank devotes himself to human rights and achieving mutual respect. With his second wife Fritzi, he answers thousands of letters. These letters are written by people who have read the diary and they reach him from all over of the world. He corresponds with some readers at length and says about this: "Young people especially always want to know how these terrible things could ever have happened. I answer them as well as I can. And then at the end, I often finish by saying: 'I hope Anne's book will have an effect on the rest of your life so that insofar as it is possible in your own circumstances, you will work for unity and peace.'"

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